Let's be honest. It's been a terrible year. And I have been trying to understand all of the ways this this last loss hurts more than the rest. The closes might have been the way this year started, with the loss of David Bowie. But as much as his death was painful, it doesn't measure up to the ache in my soul the way that Carrie Fisher's death does ( Read more... )

drink scotch or whiskey straight very often, let alone in my own home. But when I do, I can feel the taste, the wood, the grains, the fermentation, the soul, the point, burn its way into my tongue. It's so sweet in my nose that I can't help but let my lips part. Let my tongue taste. Let me throat swallow ( Read more... )

... this might be it. I am not 100% sure of course, as no one could possibly be. I feel like every possibly philosophy that I have ever applied to my life is coming to a head. Ever moment of personal growth. Every moment of interpersonal growth. Every moment of intrapersonal growth. Every moment of intellectual growth. Every second of struggle/ ( Read more... )

GGRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

For the first time in a while, I feel sick with worry. I don't want to lose her, she is, and I want her to continue to be, such an important part of my life. I'm just concerned that I haven't been living up to what that requires, and I just hope that I didn't realize it too late. I hope that I can find the right words, figure out the right plan, ( Read more... )

For the first time in a long time... I think I'm depressed.

All I ask for is a little peace and quiet in my mind... and by that I don't mean a lower volume, but fewer thoughts at once...

So, I love my brain. I truly do. It is probably the source of a good 50% of my amusement most days. Random, quickfire connections that make no sense, amusing misconnections, hilarious associations, etc. All of these things make my smile, chuckle, or down right burst out laughing. All of these things, plus the fact that I'm not an idiot, are reasons ( Read more... )

life has got me a little bit confused and concerned about some things recently. Most of them happen in my head. There are things that I worry about that I should not have even entering my brain. But then again, I know more or less exactly why they enter. The worst part is that even though I can recognize the source of them, I still see no good ( Read more... )

So I just watched Once, Lost In Translation, and Before Sunrise all in one go... Now I desperately want to travel and just disappear somewhere for a little while, and I want to engage in a lengthy conversation with a complete stranger.

yup.