Such are the *joys* of insomnia. I still have 2 weeks before school resumes to play. Ok here comes the big self disclosure, yes, you know, the juicy bit
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Yah, that model guy was... a model. Saying more, I think, would be redundant.
I might encourage you to not worry about the ring. First, diamonds are a total scam -- DeBeers is the WORST monopoly on the planet. A bunch of white males cooked up the idea of diamond engagement rings to make money about a hundred years ago. And diamonds do not hold their value. They're cheap rocks used in a contrived "tradition" supported by the iron grip of a truly evil corporation. Look into it. Second, Brian seems trustworthy... so if he said it and meant it, that would be good enough for me.
'Course, you might encourage him to get you some sort of non-traditional engagement ring or token.
Congratulations! I suppose I need to keep this on the DL?
Yeah, "diamonds are forever" causing murder and slavery in Sierra Leone and South Africa. I'm aware of the geopolitical ramifications...I heard that in a lab they've made forgeries so good that diamond experts can't tell them from the real ones. A gold ring would be fine with me.
Mom, Dad, and "When are you going to get married?" Nanny don't know yet. I want to talk about it alot more with him before the families are informed. That part makes it seem so permanent. I don't want a repeat of what happened to Heather in Honolulu.
I like the dragon too. I've never assigned a gender to it, so it can be a she if you think it's a she :) Btw, did you see the photos of my artwork that I posted for you? Theres a dragon there that I painted...
I'm very happy for you, and I hope you do get married. I don't know if there ever really comes a perfect time to start a family and such, but you and Brian seem stable and he would probably make an excellent husband. I know that I have never met him, but he has impeccable taste in women;)
That really means alot to me, thanks. It's a little overwhelming to make such a big decision, but you are right, there never is the *perfect* time. Honestly, I'm not sure what to do. But then, who ever really is? Thanks again for the kind words.
Again I ask... Why do you think sacrifice is a necessary part of marriage? I do not believe it is.
To me it always seemed like once you marry, settle down, mortgage, kids, responsibilities...that all the joy is suffocated through lack of time and energy left over for you and life is over. Maybe I'm selfish and don't want to give the amout it takes to be a *good* wife and mother. It's so hard to choose to limit myself.
Marriage doesn't have to be like that. Marriage will be whatever you and your husband make it. If the "traditional" path is not to your liking try another or create your own. Marriage need not be chains unless you make it so. Personally I've found found in my marriage the support and encouragement I need to expand myself beyond what I could achieve alone. It's been fantastic. That said, don't get married unless you both want it.
I would like to believe you that marriage can not be a sacrifice, however I don't see it that way. Honestly, I'm oscillating wildly in terms of what I want for the future. One day I want to look for houses and have a baby. Two days later I want to move to Costa Rica and start my life all over again.
It's the transition that excites me and the stagnation or inability to change my mind that frightens me. More with children than marriage. Once a woman has a child, she can't all of a sudden realise, "Whoops! This wasn't really what I wanted afterall. Nevermind!" It's too late to decide that you want to search for the greener grass. That's the sacrifice I'm afraid to make.
You're spot on about the loss of freedom. For example, I think I would like to move away from San Francisco after I complete school in about a year. Brian works for a software company he really likes and his parents also live in the Bay Area. He doesn't want to move and has a hard time even talking about it with me. If I was single, I could move to Australia(for example) but married I can't choose to do anything my husband didn't approve of.
Thanks for the good advice. I'm usually the one in my friends who is giving advice, so it's *very* nice to be receiving council for a change...You're absolutly right that Brian and I need to talk alot more about the logistics before we make such an important decision together. The questions you raised will help me keep focused on a productive and insightful discussion.
I'm also glad to hear that your marriage brings you happiness and is, as you say, a win-win.
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Yah, that model guy was... a model. Saying more, I think, would be redundant.
I might encourage you to not worry about the ring. First, diamonds are a total scam -- DeBeers is the WORST monopoly on the planet. A bunch of white males cooked up the idea of diamond engagement rings to make money about a hundred years ago. And diamonds do not hold their value. They're cheap rocks used in a contrived "tradition" supported by the iron grip of a truly evil corporation. Look into it. Second, Brian seems trustworthy... so if he said it and meant it, that would be good enough for me.
'Course, you might encourage him to get you some sort of non-traditional engagement ring or token.
Congratulations! I suppose I need to keep this on the DL?
Reply
I like Brian alot too.
Yeah, "diamonds are forever" causing murder and slavery in Sierra Leone and South Africa. I'm aware of the geopolitical ramifications...I heard that in a lab they've made forgeries so good that diamond experts can't tell them from the real ones. A gold ring would be fine with me.
Mom, Dad, and "When are you going to get married?" Nanny don't know yet. I want to talk about it alot more with him before the families are informed. That part makes it seem so permanent. I don't want a repeat of what happened to Heather in Honolulu.
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I like your dragon! I feel like she looks sometimes. I'm assuming she's a she...
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Again I ask... Why do you think sacrifice is a necessary part of marriage? I do not believe it is.
To me it always seemed like once you marry, settle down, mortgage, kids, responsibilities...that all the joy is suffocated through lack of time and energy left over for you and life is over. Maybe I'm selfish and don't want to give the amout it takes to be a *good* wife and mother. It's so hard to choose to limit myself.
Marriage doesn't have to be like that. Marriage will be whatever you and your husband make it. If the "traditional" path is not to your liking try another or create your own. Marriage need not be chains unless you make it so. Personally I've found found in my marriage the support and encouragement I need to expand myself beyond what I could achieve alone. It's been fantastic. That said, don't get married unless you both want it.
Reply
I would like to believe you that marriage can not be a sacrifice, however I don't see it that way. Honestly, I'm oscillating wildly in terms of what I want for the future. One day I want to look for houses and have a baby. Two days later I want to move to Costa Rica and start my life all over again.
It's the transition that excites me and the stagnation or inability to change my mind that frightens me. More with children than marriage. Once a woman has a child, she can't all of a sudden realise, "Whoops! This wasn't really what I wanted afterall. Nevermind!" It's too late to decide that you want to search for the greener grass. That's the sacrifice I'm afraid to make.
Reply
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Thanks for the good advice. I'm usually the one in my friends who is giving advice, so it's *very* nice to be receiving council for a change...You're absolutly right that Brian and I need to talk alot more about the logistics before we make such an important decision together. The questions you raised will help me keep focused on a productive and insightful discussion.
I'm also glad to hear that your marriage brings you happiness and is, as you say, a win-win.
Reply
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