You know it can never be good when you see these phone calls. Especially at mid-morning. Especially from family. And it's so weird, you don't ever expect to hear this phrase, "Grandma is dying." Isn't it, usually, that they are dead? Everyone is dying from the start, so how can Grandma be "dying", like it's news? Well, it is different when you know ( Read more... )

Is there anyone out there? Have you even realized how much I don’t write ( Read more... )

We got a dog on February 11thHer story is small: she came from California, her name was Lindsey, her history unknown other than *scared*, she has some bad teeth, age is unknown but thought around 1-ish, and she’s a mix, but stands predominately in the German Shepherd breed, and is crate and house-trained. Also, she's pretty cute ( Read more... )

We are going to Disneyland. For months I have been itching to get away, to not be here doing the same thing every day. So, we are going to Disneyland. Aurelia and Matthew’s first Disneyland trip. Matthew’s first flight and his second birthday. A big family trip. We have been planning it for months. And now, here it is. And I am a hot fucking mess. ( Read more... )

At 5:30 AM, while I wrapped her in my arms and felt her little head adjusting against my shoulder, I got to sing to her the first Happy Birthday song for today and wondered if she was going to start off the day better than the past few mornings. Let’s just say that she started her day, instead, in full-blooming-emotions! I have this feeling that ( Read more... )

It's been awhile, I know. This is probably the first time in weeks that I can actually sit down for a moment. Thanksgiving came and went, then all-the-things for Christmas. Also, December has been dubbed the worst-month-ever because Aurelia has been sick, basically, all month. One small cold which canceled Arri and I going to Portland (Nick got to ( Read more... )

Right now I'm baking german chocolate caramel bars for a work Thanksgiving Potluck tomorrow. I have three minutes left before I can let it sit out over-night, and I get to get ready for bed. But I've said, "You've got (insert number here) minutes," so much more in the past month I might literally start saying that in regular adult conversations. ( Read more... )

We have been talking about having another kid. And by talking, I mean in passing, a thought bounced around the room, a side-note, “after we get back from Disneyland…”

My friends have been asking me questions, like how I feel about trying again, considering last time. I don’t really have an answer because I haven’t actually thought about it the way ( Read more... )

Some ten days ago, my little girl turned 22 months.

I still find it ridiculous saying months after she has passed the one year mark, but, at the same time, it still seems to matter. She is still this tiny human who makes leaps and bounds in development every month.

But once she is two, eff that noise.


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I am a sponge. I take in all the good, all the bad. It is as if I am at your whim. Are you smiling, laughing? Hear my giggle harmonize with yours. Are you crying, shrinking into yourself? I am sulking on the floor near you. Are your arms waving in the air, screaming profanities into the wind? My feet are stomping to your angry cadence ( Read more... )