figured i'd update. been a while. and i need to go back to the community. i just feel like i've had no time or energy in addition to the fact that i don't yet have an ethernet card so i'm using the library computers, which doesn't quite give me the time or seclusion to sit and read and update for a while. and i need a good hour or two to go through ( Read more... )

I'm tired of the word "pretty." i prefer "beautiful." less masogynostic. less shallow. "Pretty" seems to set a universal expectation for women, a superficial expectation that should've been outdated years ago. it coincides with women's classic sophisticated sexually adhering to men clean-cut child-bearing slipper-fetching status of the 1950's. ( Read more... )

having a great time in school and a terrible time with the eating disorder. the two could not be at more polar opposites right now. I expect at any minute to self-destruct either because the great times are too good to be true or because the eating disorder is going to take me down.

but i got a hickey from a cute boy. :)

Later...

I haven't written in a while...happenings have happened. muchly and nervously and i'm not having fun. i'm starting school monday. i move back sunday. i'm so scared but i have to pretend to be okay because I have so many goals...and i want to maintain some very important connections that i've made recently...i wouldn't want to put my new wonderful ( Read more... )

i have an eating disorder even though i am at a normal weight. I starved myself, got down to a much better normal weight, then got tired of starving myself and gained weight. i purged much more often but i still gained weight because i was binging more than purging. this is an eating disorder. i had one the whole time. i have one now. i have an ( Read more... )

whoa...about a month passed by before i got the response and i had forgotten about it..then i got that and thought wow, for a woman who fought so hard...she had been sick for 12 years, binging and taking laxatives and throwing up...and one day she decided to kill herself and then my some miracle the neighbor whom she was going to ask for the gun ( ( Read more... )

On Tue, 20 Jul 2004 20:23:35 EDT KolorMeHappyGirl@aol.com writes ( Read more... )

Today was alright. I ate with a friend so it was fine and i actually didn't feel guilty. what a concept ( Read more... )

also, my cd is finished. i'm sending it off to be replicated tomorrow. this is the latest very good news in my life. today it seriously feels like its making up for the shit. Actually, here's what happened today before any music news happened ( Read more... )

Since this is starting to feel like an actual journal, I copied a bunch of entries from my other livejournal account and pasted them here. why not ( Read more... )