i give up. totally, and uterly, give up. im so sick and tired of being sick and tired. everything i do falls apart. no matter how hard i try, how hard i dont try, how determined i am. everything falls apart. im so lonely. and it sucks. but im convinced lonely is what i will be. and thanks, to all those people who call themselves friends. for doing ( Read more... )

My tounge hurts from biting it. I hate the fact that I feel it necessary to keep my mouth shut for the sake of others. People are so god damn ignorant. I wish things where different. And as hard as I try, it seems nothing ever changes. WHY?!?!? I'm sick of working for what I want, and then losing it, I'm sick of sabatoging my life. Damn you for ( Read more... )

Somehow, the idea that you're better off without me, helps me sleep at night. Its funny how the idea of a love lost, can drive you insane. But the memories are what keeps you going everyday. Inside you know things are really ok, but its your mind that betrays. Things seem to be going at an ok pace, I've learned alot about myself recently. Of course ( Read more... )

So unaffectionate, so insecure ( Read more... )

These break-up songs make sense again ( Read more... )

Things are really starting to get to me. I can't understand why this is affecting me so much, and I can't keep my mouth shut long enough to give myself any space to breath. I have the solution, I know the problem, but easier said then done. Why do I feel like this? Why wont this go away? I've never had this happen before. Maybe because I know its ( Read more... )

The reason I didn't want to get into this, because I was afraid. And I was right, I was afraid I would eventually do something to mess things all up. And well, messed up isn't even close to explaining how things are right now. I really can't beleive myself, I've done nothing but cry all day. I hurt you. I made you feel bad. I betrayed you. All I ( Read more... )

Its funny how it takes the most extreme cases to realize what an ass your being. This past week I've done nothing but torture myself, and the person I care about. What an ass. I've manged to alienate Devon, even further, by trying to push her into something she wasn't ready for. Damn me. Well I do feel better because she helped me realize, by way ( Read more... )

I'm so confused right now, consumed with thoughts of jealousy and dispare. But these thoughts are not genuine. I know she cares, I know this is killing her, but what I don't understand is why she lets it continue. She holds the solution, although it may not be that easy to fix. Its worth it. All of this has been worth it. To make me understand that ( Read more... )