- Sorry I Am ( Read more... )

you got your say, is it my turn now?
maybe this will be my poem
my forum to air my grievances
at the risk of making things worse

I will.

i can't believe you act like you're the only one
who tried so desperately
to keep things intact
you say you gave me everything,

and you did.

you seem to have forgotten everything i gave in return.

A  is for anger, ( Read more... )

i keep trying to make myself happy, and i'm not exactly sure what it's going to take to get there. the situation that caused me to move back here is complicated. a 4 year relationship put on hold for at least 2 years. dunno what to do about that. i should be happy- i'm dating a nice guy, jay still loves me, i'm going to a much cheaper school with ( Read more... )

everything seems like it's changing, and fast. part of my soul deeply and strongly misses texas. i sort of miss the cowboy swagger, now that it's been replaced by a hillbilly stroll. all the shows on mtv now, set in austin, makes me miss those parts of my life so fucking bad i can't hardly stand it. i just, i had to go. or thought i had to. maybe ( Read more... )

work depresses me. all i did today was file and scan old hospital records. even though i get to listen to music and zone out, all i ever seem to be able to think about are all the terrible mistakes i've made, and all the times i've been stupid and compromised and embarassed myself. i'm pretty damn weak.

ugh. goddammit. so much for feeling better after talking to friends. thanks, dear.

fuck that.

lala. i feel better. virgina was nice. i got to see all the extended family and we went to DC (yay for the national gallery!!) and richmond (dear god, i'm moving there once i graduate!). i worked a lot today, 8-4. at $6.50/hr that's better than i have been getting. i'm also supposed to start babysitting for the lady that owns the company i work for ( Read more... )

okay so, jay and i talked, and i feel a little better about things. i think everything might end up being okay ( Read more... )

i really want to give up. i'm tired. i'm tired and i'm suffocating and i want this to stop, because there's no reprieve in sight. so much for my fairytale.

i miss everything the way it used to be. i miss holding hands and feeling closer to you than i was to myself. i miss you so badly. i wish you could just move here, with me. i miss our place and plans to decorate. you're so far away and it breaks my heart.