and now the dumb bitch tells me i get to walk home at 10 oclock at night.thanks mom.i really know you love me now.

i dont know what im doing anymore.its like im on autopilot.i get up everyday.i go to work.i come home deal with my mom.watch tv.then go to bed.then i do the same thing the next day.its like i really just dont feel like doing any of it anymore.no one really cares about me or what i feel and im sick of people acting like they do.my mom has been just ( Read more... )

so yea for anyone that cares my grandfather died today sometime between 4 and 5am.he died peacefully in his sleep.not that makes us feel much better.i havent even had a chance to cry.ive been to busy trying to comfort everyone else.especially my grandmother.she is so upset.i hate to see her like this.ive been taking care of her all day.i made her ( Read more... )

i am really tired right now.we didnt get in until like 4ish in the morning and i went to bed around 430.then i only slept 4 or 5 hours cuz my aunt and chelsea dont know the concept of quiet.then i had to avoid people all day to not get asked about what im going to do with my life.then i decided to stay up a couple hours later even though i was ( Read more... )

i would just like to set the record straight on this.the purpose of the last entry was not in anyway trying to make josh feel sorry for me or feel like he should take me back.even though i still care about him even if he wanted me back i would not want to be with him again.the only reason i decided to write that stuff was so that he would know the ( Read more... )

3am is pretty boring so i decided to make this thingy.its just a random thing of people i have known over the years.well only if i have their pic.you will notice there are alot of will pics but believe me that is not because i like him or am stalking him.its just that every time i talk to him on aim he sends me at least 5 pics.so i had a lot to put ( Read more... )

i dont know what to do.all i want to do is cry.my grandfather is dying.he got diagnosed with cancer today.and they said its so aggressive that any therapy or anything would be useless.they dont have an estimate on how long yet cuz theyre still running tests but they dont think itll be too long.why does this have to happen on top of everything else. ( Read more... )

so today was a pretty good day.i got to babysit for the cutest most sweetest little boy ive ever met.hes 22 monthes and just so adorable.and also everyone should be very proud of me.ive been having a real hard time with quitting smoking cuz of all the stress i end up dealing with between john and josh and my mom and being pregnant alone.well ive ( Read more... )

well my life is not doing too awful right now.my job is pretty good.i havent heard from john since last week.although on friday alone he left 9 messages.i find his multiple personalities amusing.josh never apologized or even tried to explain why he did what he did.but thats ok cuz it wouldnt make a difference.my mom finally decided it was ok to ( Read more... )

i dont know why i thought more of josh than that.and i dont know why i bothered to answer the phone when john called.i guess it all started last night when i was at work.he called my cell but i had it on silent so i got the message 20 minutes later when i was on break.it said thank you for giving me my id back and blah blah.and then he said id ( Read more... )