Once more, with feeling.

[starstealingirl]

Okay, folks. It's been a long damn time since I've written any kind of rant/polemic on this here LJ-- particularly in response to an online conflict-- but at this point, I feel compelled to speak up. "I won't be silent anymore" is a bit of a cliché, but in this case, it's kinda true

Comments

[etana]

Aye, well put. Few thoughts

[starstealingirl]

No West Wing references in this entry, alas; although the title of the entry is also the title of a Buffy episode. (Am working on a paper on Buffy at the moment, so it's very much On The Brain.)

[syhira]

So what do these people-who-deny-the-coexistence-of-feminism -and -BDSM have to say about women who are dominant, or switches? I got the sense that your argument was based on kink in a female submissive context. I mean, what the fuck? I'm a feminist and they can pry my kink out of my cold, dead hands*.

*Not that I'm into cold dead hands, just um...FYI. :P

[starstealingirl]

Well... I think my argument was mostly based on kink in a female submissive context, because that the position I, personally, am coming from. I did not in any way intend to marginalize dominant and switch women, to whom I owe some of my most pleasurable play experiences. *goes to the happy place and daydreams*

The particular conflict to which I am responding was actually fairly gender-neutral in its rhetorical terms (which, I suppose, is at least an improvement over the assumption that all BDSM takes place in a heterosexual, male-dominant/female-submissive context), but seemed to suggest that anyone, of any gender, who participated in BDSM in any way, was in love with abuse and violence, and as such, ignorant to the ways in which BDSM is inherently oppressive and patriarchal, regardless of its participants. I just ran with the female submissive position 'cause, y'know, it's my position. (^_^)

[syhira]

Oh, and I didn't mean for my "what the fuck" to be directed at you, but rather at whomever it was that you were arguing with. :P

BDSM & Feminism

[iabhoru1adoreu]

I'm really appreciative of your post. I know your journal doesn't exist to solely fulfill the needs of others, but I've learned from what you discussed. It helped me understand how BDSM can be an empowering experience for someone, and a feminist one as well (women asserting their own sexuality). Thanks for posting!

[starstealingirl]

*smile* Well, I don't write solely to fulfill the needs of others, but I like it when other people respond. And being told "I've learned from what you discussed" does, in fact, make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I miss my Amanda. When are you coming back to BG? *whines*

[iabhoru1adoreu]

Warm and fuzzy is good!

Oh dear, I am back in BG! Well, this weekend I'm in Cleveland. I'll be back on Tuesday. Want to go for coffee that evening?

[starstealingirl]

Absolutely! Time? (Wanna come to my house beforehand? I've been on a cooking kick, and I'll cook you something experimental and vegetarian for dinner.)

[tthea7669]

That's very cool.

[legolastn]

Well said.

[starstealingirl]

Thanks. By the way: I fully approve of your userpic.

[legolastn]

So do I.
So. Do. I.
Woof!

[transamazon]

So you "fully approve" of a user pic that furthers the hegemony and fascism of the nautilized, gender-normative, presumably able-bodied, white, male body? As a fat activist and feminist, I find the picture to simply reinscribe all the isms and phobias under which we live. The chains to me are not "sexy" but a reminder of how all gender enslaves, as we are chained to a never-ending hellish system of patriarchy that constantly reproduces oppressive gender and power dynamics through victimization of the "other": trans, women, fat people, people with disabilities, people of color etc.