sick and tired, of being so fucking nice. I try so hard to make others happy, bc that truly makes me happier and i just cant get walked on again. I wish i could make the nice go away, but i love it so much, i just wish others would appreciate it a bit more.

I like school, i am so tired. I am more tired than I have ever been in my whole life. So crazed that i am actually writing in my lj, ha. Life has never been this hard, yet so rewarding, im not sure about the balance there, i am accomplishing so much, and giving so much up. My body and mind are so weak right now. Six classes, 16 hours a week of an ( Read more... )

want to be like my father. I see tendencies and it scares me. I need to get it together, quick.

( Read more... )

UMMMM DEITCH ART PARADE THAT I AM IN ( Read more... )

So the hotel thing fell through. Thats fine for me, i am not a painter anymore, and I really would have been pretending. I am also not truly willing to jeopardize my aesthetic for money. They did not select me bc my work was "too pink". These people are obviously just business minded, bc i already expressed to them i could change the color the ( Read more... )

It was rainy, and i had classes all day, and i was in a pretty cranky mood. But then i saw the tiniest frog i could ever imagine, about the size of a rain drop, and little does this frog know, but it made my day. Little things please me ( Read more... )

Gang Gang Dance ( Read more... )

restless and antsy.........

i feel like my life is so crazy right now, its so sporadic, and random, and nothing seems normal or how it has been in the past. Nothing is really quite stable or routine at all. I need a break....