Marz just called me and we actually talked. The last couple days when he's been calling me he just says something quick and gets off the phone. Not trying to talk to me at all. Well what he wanted to talk about really just hurt. He decided that he wants to get with her and told me. So now they're going to get together ( Read more... )

gawd..... why does life have to be this way. in moments like this i think about it non stop and it totally consumes me. hurt and pain, fear of losing THAT relationship: the future relationship... to her and him.... all it is now is what if? and i know i shouldnt think about cuz nothing is for sure yet. but still... i cant help not to think. why her ( Read more... )

ya for sure its been awhile ( Read more... )

wow! its been a long time since i have written. today is st pattys day!!!!! i hope you wore green.

one sentance: i know youre not my girlfriend now, but youll be my wife some day.

thats all i have to remember :)

i am so fucking depressed than ever! my car died cuz it had an oil leak and i failed to do nada about it. i guess the engine froze and i apparently need a new one. you dont understand how unhappy i am that i just want to cry every second of every day. i lost my independance and now i cant work out as much either. or hang out with some one who is ( Read more... )

everything still pretty much the same...

i think i killed my car though! the oil was leaking and i didnt take care of it and it stalled and died. engine, batterie, and oil light came on then it wouldnt start.

this saturday Natassia is getting married! i cant wait for the reception. im so happy for her :)

i have so much to do to get my life where i want it to be. but i have a plan... filter out the people who no longer aid to the situation, so thats what im doing ( Read more... )

im crying now. and its painful. i just realized that he and i will never be more than friends. my heart feels just as much hurt as the day Danny and i parted but in a different way. i care about this guy so much and i dont think he even knows. my understanding of us was that we were going to get together later on whenever that may be and right now ( Read more... )

all and all things are good. i still dont understand him... but ill always care for him. i know he cares for me but he just isnt willing to put his heart out on the line and take a chance. i really want to and some day ill call him out on it. but until i can think of how to bring it up, it wont be mentioned. dude! he fuckin ditches his friends for ( Read more... )

So just when i thought my life was about to be where i wanted it to be... God threw a curve ball at me. i really dont understand guys at all!!! they say something, but then their action say the total opposite. i feel so fucking lonely and theres one person i want to be with and all he can be is my friend for now??? whatever dawg whatever