I go through phases where I feel envious of the dumbest things and I start to live in my head. Nothing gets said, nothing gets done. I don't want to go back there, so I am making a conscious effort to put on the brakes before I careen into my own oblivion.

I was re-reading some things, and summer seems so long ago.

I feel like I'm a whole new person from July to March. The friendships I formed during summer have been kept, and new ones have formed. Friendship is a glorious thing.

I have recently had a. . .falling out with a friend. He said "I wanna fuck" and I said "I don't" and we all know text ( Read more... )

The boy I like, I never see. 
He is an epitome of a loser. 
In reality we aren't compatible for much of anything. But that never stopped anyone before.

I don't really feel much of anything toward him; I don't know why I prolong things. 
Probably because its is wonderful to know someone likes you. 
& I like to keep that know. 

I just took a six minute shower for his ass!
I wanted to go :[

I am losing my mind. 
and smoking more
and forming friendships that I love
and generally loving moments of my life

I lack direction in the right places maybe. But the wrong ones, look so right. so good. so beautiful and promising. 
I just can;t make up my mind, because new people have entered my life. & as much as I hate to admit it they have already ( Read more... )

I need to make a decision and I need to make it now. I can't afford to make the "wrong" decsion, even though I already know what it is. Its hard to let go. I don;t want to feel left out and left behind. The whole reason I "started" was to be on the best inside joke that spands across time into forever and ever until you quit. I don't want to lose ( Read more... )

I can be a very poor decision maker.

That weekend was amazing. 
fucking surreal. 
hammocks. puke. dogs. magical houses. forgotten car rides. spasms. not caring. waking up. everything.

I love life. :]

I am on the very verge of complete loss of control.

No turning back now. Both fingers crossed, and eyes closed, and I pump false confidence into myself like a fucking heroin addict. Tomorrow night, I thrive off luck & the instincts I cast aside.

Godamn you turmoil. 
Just when you think you have everything figured out. Ah, but life loves giving unexpected turnes, yeah?