this is going to sound dumb, but im serious about this. i feel like for the first time in my life i've been able to realize that i hold the key to my happiness. i am the one who controls whether im happy, sad, annoyed, confused, or whatever in different situations. i have the ability to get myself out of situations im not enjoying and in to one's ( Read more... )

i feel really lost these days. i feel like I'm living a life that's not my own. like i'm just going through the motions of things with no enjoyment or satisfaction from anything. when i'm at school i count down the days till im at home. when i'm home i count down the days till im at school. but once i reach that destination i'm never happy or ( Read more... )

i hope that i never ever ever settle. with pretty much anything in my life, but more specifically my love life. i was talking to jes about this the other day. what we look for in a guy and all that. i honestly don't think i'd be happy in a long term committed relationship with anyone but my soulmate. lame, i know. but really. i need to be with ( Read more... )

i feel like something's missing but i don't know what it is or how to fix it. my head's a mess and i want to go home to a home that doesn't even exist.

i am back at school and it feels so weird. it's not that i don't love it here, because i do. it's just. i feel like so much is changing around me right now. new semester, new setting, new year, new outlook on things. i'd definitely have to say that so far i am happier in 2009 than i was in 2008. i feel older and wiser. and i also feel like im ( Read more... )

a year ago today i felt really different. i was younger, more sheltered. but this year things feel different. i feel like an adult. the new year always fucks me up. the whole concept of beginning a new and the passage of time really freaks me out. usually i just feel like i keep getting older and nothing is changing. but this year i feel like i've ( Read more... )

i'm finally home after four months of living abroad. i don't know how i feel about the whole thing. i mean, i loved every moment of being away and seeing the world, and yes, i got homesick, especially at the end. but i'm not sure i'm ready to be back here, back in my old, boring routine. i missed my friends, so so much. but sitting around here on ( Read more... )

i never want to leave here. this is what life should be like.

Nine more days till my new life begins. I am overwhelmed with simultaneous fear and excitement.

i feel like it's all ending....