I havn't updated this thing in ages I've been too busy being a myspace whore....what was I thinking. I have been doing so many things latly trying to please everyone around me that it finally made me into a crazy person. First my best firend in the world wants to stay with a guy who treated her like shit and I thought if I told her the truth on how ( Read more... )

I miss so many things lately it's all I can think about. I mean I am happy where I am at now, but there is so much that I am starting to miss more than anything. I miss being a kid and having no worries about life what so ever the kid that used to be able to spin around and around in circles until she fell on the ground without one tear spilling ( Read more... )

So I went to the doctors today because I had a bladder affection...I was scared that agin the doctor would tell me I was pregnant...again I was wrong no I have diabetes I'm really scared....

I can't do anything without images of the two coming into my mind. I mean here is the thing He didn't leave me this time good. BUT he didn't leave her either...Bad. I don't know anymore what to make of the world anymore it just seems like no matter what no matter where I am reality hits and ruins my time. I mean here I am in the most beautiful ( Read more... )

Lately I have been having these dreams they aren't good dreams and they leave me jumping out of bed in the middle of the night and are the reason of my recent lack of sleep. The fear and anxiety keep getting to me and the worst part is I have been trying to wake myself up out of thedream so it will all be over, but I just wake up in another version ( Read more... )

This last weekend I went out and smoked I smoked a lot. The greatest part of my weekend though was sitting on the beach in a lighthouse alone complete darkness besides the buring of my cigar and the white waves crashing down on the beach. I was upset. I felt a lone...I was on my period haha. Then I got home and spent the night with my boyfriend he ( Read more... )

i'm coming home this weekend yay!

Thoughts going through my head right now I can’t think of anything because I am so damn happy. The one thing that is making me happy is sitting across from me right now. He is so beautiful. The patio is pitch black, but I still see his eyes, God those blue eyes, I have blue eyes, but not like his, his are what blue eyes should be. How did I get so ( Read more... )

Sitting on my balcony smoking a cigarrette with my best friend makes me feel like no matter what life throws at me I can continue and even grow from it all. A lot of people who know me see me and think she's a slut who loves to have sex, a happy person, has life easy, and yes sometimes even people see me as a bitch. I ran away from that reputation ( Read more... )

I miss people in merced Stevie and Robbie are going home again for the weekend and will be able to catch up with old friends...must be nice...I feel like I'm trapped here like I will never get out the outside world is slowly going away and all I will soon know is life in Santa Cruz....I miss sitting on stage in drama and watching family guy while ( Read more... )