sort of a downer post

[steelymaam]

Kinda lonely around here today. Most holidays are like that at our home here in the south. Now, really I'm not all that big into the holidays themselves,  but I love any reason to congregate with family and friends and eat some food. Unfortunately, most of our Greenville friends grew up here, so they always have something to do on the holidays. And

Comments

[bunnydeville]

p.s.- if it makes you feel any better, you and Mike are the parents that I wish I was. Whenever I get mad at Miranda, I tell myself to act more like the Mervas. So, you can't be doing too badly, then, right? (o:

[steelymaam]

Now that is just about the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to us...Seriously. Thanks for all those good feelings bubbling up!

[bunnydeville]

Well, it's true... you guys are always so patient and mellow with the kids... that's how I want to be, but I'm just built a little more high strung, I guess (o:

Sebastian's turned into such a little cutie. After you guys move we'll have to drive over for a day or two, it's only about 4 hours from here.

[barley_grass]

not exactly advice, but i remember reading about a similar situation in a ramona quimmby book where her parents tried to explain that love wasn't like a cup of sugar (finite and portioned). her parents had an endless supply of love that they shared openly with both children (and others too!) and they could always have as much as they needed. maybe you could try to rationalize this with penny. i wonder if stressing the big girl stuff also has her wondering why she can't do the babystuff anymore. maybe if you try to let her do it, she might realize that she doesn't really want to do that stuff anymore? i am assuming that you have talked with her about it, but have you asked her what she needs and tried to problem solve with her to figure out a good compromise? its really interesting to see how kids her age work through problem solving and conflict resolution.

[steelymaam]

I would expect you to think of giving the kid responsibility/credit for problem-solving... so often children are not respected in that way. I typically have tried talking to her during the episodes, which just leads nowhere since she's so emotional and I'm so worn out... but I will bring it up during a nice moment. She really doesn't seem to want to talk about it, like I bring something up and she's like, "Hush, mom, I know I know"... I think maybe she understands in her head but not her heart.

Thanks for the good advice!

[barley_grass]

I keep thinking about the scenerios you described. I like challenges with kids her age.

I was thinking about how I would respond (of course in my mind) to the one where you respond to lucy crying and penny's like - guess you don't love me anymore - I would straight out ask her either what she would prefer you do or what it is that you are doing that means you don't love her.... see what she says? if she wants you to leave lucy crying, how long can she take that?

and then the other scenerio where she beats lucy to the cut with your lap and then says "no shes MY mom", have you asked her who is lucy's mom then? have you tried piling penny on your lap and then lucy on top?

hehe. sorry i overthink these things a lot. i also like rosies idea about special dates with parents. seems like we did that in my family too when one parent was super busy working on a phd or when we were all super busy with my sisters band concerts, gymnastic meets, school functions etc.. then there would be me time.

love

[rozee]

hey, i'm feeling kinda lonely, too. sometimes the highly-social times can do the opposite of make me feel included, and i end up feeling forlorn.

i wish i could come over and hang out with penny, she might do well with having a date with just you and her (or a friend), i remember my brother ruben had dates with my moms friends a lot, they'd go see a play or something really special.

talk to you soon!

Re: love

[steelymaam]

Thanks for the love!

I wish you could come hang out with Penny, too... It's funny you bring up dates 'cause just yesterday we decided we'd do weekly dates, Mama-and-Penny and Papa-and-Penny. I'm very excited about this because I've spent so little time just hanging out with Penny since Lucy's been around. Just Penny and I (and our friend Meg who is a good adult-friend to Penny) went downtown to see the fireworks on the 4th and we had a magical, lovely time.

That's so cool about Ruben... Maybe if we live close again you and Penny can go get mochas and see plays and feed ducks and whatnot.

Talk to me soon!