I usually take a while to be comfortable around someone I am attracted to. Slowly but surely, this woman is becoming my safe space. I don’t feel like I deserve someone this kind and beautiful, but I am working on being good enough for her. The only thing I have to do to impress her is sit down with her and listen. 😊 I’m working on both as much as I ( Read more... )

I might be having more sexual orientation epiphany’s again. So I’ve always known I was Bi. I’ve experienced at least 2-3 women and also had long lasting relationships with men. But I’m beginning to wonder why I don’t exactly seek relationships with women. I have answers: first of, they are so pretty and strong, most of the time I am terrified of ( Read more... )

Rejecting money you feel like you need to give me now. You snapped at me, I snap back. I feel like you expected a lot from me too. You expected me to put my boundaries on hold while you still wanted to feel loved and appreciated. How do I feel loved if I’m constantly being put in a position I didn’t want to do? I communicated that. Multiple times. ( Read more... )

I’ll copy and paste this shit into livejournal if I need to!
Hellooo journaling! Always helps me clear my head so here we go!
Starting 2024 single. Not quite ready to mingle. I don’t mind trying to make friends, but I’m so disappointed with people that I can’t tie myself to anyone without so much stress and anxiety about how it affects me. I’m barely ( Read more... )

I want to feel safe again. I want to feel supported again. I hate feeling like I’m the only adult in the house with responsibilities. Maybe it’s just me, and I don’t trust anyone to do it. Long term plans are too difficult to make. I can barely see how to make it until the end of the month. I want to be excited for the holidays but even the looming ( Read more... )

Relationships of all kinds are hard work. Especially for me. I have found my peace in a clean house with music and a book all by myself. My kids are my closest and easiest love I feel like. Hopefully they feel the same forever. It’s kind of worrisome to me that my kids could feel as ambivalent towards me as I do my mother. I do love her, but I don’ ( Read more... )

I don’t think I need anyone to do anything for me anymore. I just want to be important to someone. I want to be loved unconditionally and love unconditionally. No more transactions. No more shame for struggles. Support and respect. Not be used or taken for granted. I want to love whole heartedly and stop pretending like I can’t. I want to find new ( Read more... )

I would just like someone to stay with me when shit gets tough. We all need our space at times and I get that. There can’t be growth without communication and respect and how do you get that when people want to just throw it all out before asking what’s wrong even? How can I trust someone unless they’ve seen me be a horrible person and come back ( Read more... )

Loving someone so thoroughly can be difficult. I know we need our space to grow, but in that sense, what are we fighting for? It doesn’t feel like we are trying to be together and it’s fucking up my heart. My brain knows this is what we both need, but my heart is crushed. I love him and I had just started to unthaw my cold ass heart so now I have ( Read more... )

Since Zach has moved out (end of January), the stress financially has been easier. Definitely not as panicky about money and support. He paid back Christmas and is doing well with his new job. With just me and kids to support, I am coping well. Now without the stress from financials sending me into survival mode, I am noticing my mental health ( Read more... )