test

its been a long time but these lyrics seem to be the only thing describing my feelings right now..

I still recall the words you said to me
It's what you did not said that sets me free
Now how can i, i'd be so blind
when you keep coming back again.

It's not okay
for you to play
this game of seesaw with my head.
Now it hurts too much
And it hits too ( Read more... )

so i really haven't written in forever but i'm gonna talk as though i've written all this time, because i just don't feel like updating because really whats the point ( Read more... )

so, something happened to me the other night that totally gave me a whole different perspective on life. i need to stop living how i am, i need to stop drinking, and concentrate on things that are more important. i am lucky for what i have in my life and if i keep drinking and screwing it up, its not going to end well. i've already lost 4 of my ( Read more... )

something really fucked up is going on man.. and i don't know if i'll find out, or if i even want to know...

i really understood Kerra's away message tonight.
   "When it seems like life couldn't get any worse, give it a second."

i know thats a horrible attitude to have right now.. but its just how it is at the present moment, so deal.

so i've been trying to change myself.. and i have definitly seen a change in myself.. but there are some aspects where i have not.  i guess alley is right when she says  i can't change overnight. and of course i know i can't, but i just WISH that i could. because then i would be able to fix all of this and everyone wouldn't be hurt anymore, and ( Read more... )

i have finally realized who it is that i am.. and that is exactly what i don't want to be. i know who i want to be. i want to go back to being the old me. i have changed into a completely different person and i don't know how, but i do know that i need to change, and i am going to. no more hurting people, or anything like that. i need to be the ( Read more... )

i don't understand how i can be yelled at and hurt and scolded.. and people get mad at me? i just don't understand. i tried to stop bad things from happening, but it seems people just don't want me around. i guess i don't deserve to be around them anyways.

i wish i could go away.. far away, for a really long time.

i hate myself, and pretty much ( Read more... )

so it has been a relaxing day.. but it turned into me thinking about things alot.. which i hate when i do that.

i talked to tom last night, which was good.. some ppl are probably going to be angry at me for talking to him, but i can't help it. i just can't seem to stay away from that kid, and quite frankly... i don't want to. we agreed to "start ( Read more... )

so i guess i've made my decision.. enough is enough. i'm done.. well i'm not trying anymore. i can't do it. it just tears me apart, it really does. its so hard to let go, and to turn the other way, but i think in this case for my sanity.. its best i do so.

on another note, i can't stand being home already. this town is soo boring. seeing the fam is ( Read more... )