i havent done a legitimate freewrite in a long time. so here it goes. cause im too afraid to put it anywhere else and its probably a necessity. i cant rly concentrate when theres a movie playing in the background. especially when its one of my favourites. and one of hers. apparently. we spent our evening drinking beer and watching stand by me and i ( Read more... )

i made a playlist just with songs that have "save" in the title.

she is nineteen ( Read more... )

these are the facts ( Read more... )

from fatherbingo in bipolar_nomeds:

I feel like any pressure will crack me. I don't want to do anything. All I'm getting is love and support, but I feel so unworthy. I feel like I'm simply milking this; I think I want to be hated. After what I did? After how I let the monster out? "Oh, you were just being sick. We'll help you get back in shape." No! Call me on my bullshit ( Read more... )

i write monologues in the shower. hold mass for nonexistent audiences in tune with my every word. as the steam rises im practicing how to phrase every syllable correctly so that it hits just how it should. my voice barely above a whisper despite the entire house being asleep. i have always been afraid that my lack of rational thought will be found ( Read more... )

regression ( Read more... )

i was going to write an entry thats been running through my head for a couple days but then i read this and decided not to.

i know that i shouldnt be fueling negative thoughts on the eve of something so great, but that tends to be how i work. worst possible scenarios. irrational anger. guilty guilty guilty. so here it is. ive been trying to figure out what sets us apart. why we will never mesh as well as i do with others. why i will never tell you the whole truth. my ( Read more... )

im seriously seriously trying my best to slow my mind down enough so that i can form a few coherent sentences. its sunny outside so my mind is wandering already and i cant wipe this goddamn smile off of my face. i feel like after eight years, its finally working. something is finally going right. and i am so fucking thankful ( Read more... )