how quickly one can turn from sorrow to joy - cold to warmth - death to life.

Today im so happy i could burst!! burst burst burst! for the first time in my life as cliched as that sounds, i am truely, really, content and looking forward to living! The person i adore and cannot live without loves me back just as much! "All ya need is love" !!!!!!

ebbs and flows - waxes and wains - peace and quiet - love and hate - shaken or stirred - who cares!!!! one day at a time is hard enough!

Terror and fucked-up-ness reign supreme in the world yet again....**heavylooooongsigh**

My own sadness and worry faded into total and utter insignificance today when i awoke to a phone call telling me someone i knew and really cared about had suicided. Another one bites the dust i thought - as hard as this sounds, i was almost numb to the news at first - "Fuck", i thought....as reality began to hit me and her death reverberated around ( Read more... )

If i hear one more person utter words to the effect of "life is MEANT to be a journey filled with pain, suffering, blah blah blah to enable us to transform ourselves into who we really want to be" i will PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As i crept into the back of the Basilica, shivering from the cutting morning frost, i found a friendly looking pew and sat quietly. Not really sure what brings me back here, but its always when life overwhelms me. The serenity, stillness and crisp air are bizzarly comforting - no other soul sharing this space with me, just hundreds of desolate ( Read more... )

Today i identified what these tentacles are - HOPE (and its lack of)....thank god for friends who can point out this stuff! Off i go to "the acquarium" to discover a HOPE booster.

As lifes tentacles squeeze at my jugular i am refraining from honesty....who would i tell anyway?? would anyone listen?? i realllllly dont think so. I will endeavour to continue my futile journey thru this ocean, dodging the sharks and rays, forever trying to get to the surface to see the 'sun'....can someone actually tell me what the sun really ( Read more... )

I want to be a Mother.