VIdeo 08-04-10

[stillneedsakiss]

[From the look of the scenery, Aya is under a shade tree in Espoir. She sits with her back against the trunk, the breeze brushing her hair against her neck.]

Last month it was Omi. This month, Sena.

One by one, it seems my family here is disappearing. It's unsettling, a little. Who's next, will it happen on the same schedule... I wonder.

[Aya

Comments

1/2

[penetratingaze]

 

2/2

[penetratingaze]

It makes me sad to see a young woman with such heavy concerns.

[stillneedsakiss]

Ah-- I'm sorry. That's very sweet of you. It's not... I mean...

[An awkward look to the side, and a sheepish smile back to the camera.]

I'll be okay. Really, it's the other person that deserves any sorrow.

[penetratingaze]

But you are here. So, you have my attention.

[1/3]

[love_lostomates]

Aya...

[2/3]

[love_lostomates]

[3/3]

[love_lostomates]

...All we can do is do our best, and enjoy the time we have with them here, right?

They leave, yes, but we should be happy that they were here, not sad that they left!

[stillneedsakiss]

[That... was probably about the best thing she could have heard. And much more in line with her usual attitude. She smiles.]

I am grateful that I was able to meet him, and that even if he doesn't remember it, he got to experience something better for a little while. It's just... Spain, he's going to be so alone where he's going...

[ishikawa_juusan]

I have not experienced this here. But in my own world, I have encountered similar situations.

Sometimes there is nothing one can do, but to find the dignity to accept one's powerlessness, no matter how difficult it may be. I continue to believe that everything must happen for a reason.

[stillneedsakiss]

[Aya bites her lower lip and nods.]

I guess I need to work on my dignity. It's never something I want to accept-- that there's really nothing I can do. Even if it's true.

What reasons do you find for some of the bad things in life? That seems like a helpful philosophy if it can be managed. A couple of things that have happened... I'm not sure I can say the gain was worth the loss.

[stillneedsakiss]

[Aya does take solace from that concept.]

That's a good answer.

...Do you think this is something that can be applied to others as well? That... this person I'm thinking of. What's going to happen to him is something that's a product of his own choices. Is it possible the experience can shape him towards actions that will bring him more happiness in the future?

[Voice]

[47_l0w]

[So there may be a slight squawk just as the voice feed clicks on but please disregard it, it's nothing major, really.]

Maybe... There's still hope and things might change. [ ...He'd met Keisuke here, and even if he knew Keisuke would be dead when he returned, there had also been a way to save him... and Yuuto had taken that path.] And you never know - they might be back some day.

[Voice]

[stillneedsakiss]

[Aya definitely notices that squawk but has no real way to ask about it without being awkward, and so lets it go without any comment.

She isn't exactly optimistic about things changing. Others in her "family" were from later points in time and could confirm that Omi's plans for himself succeeded. Even so, she wants to hope. Things could change at a time beyond what anyone presently knew...]

That's always possible, I guess. Both things. I guess hoping for that is all you can do, isn't it?

[Voice]

[47_l0w]

[He has a pet bird or something! Really, that's it!]

Yeah. We're stuck here...and it's not like we can really do anything about it. And I'm sure they wouldn't want you to be down about them either.

[Voice]

[stillneedsakiss]

[That, Aya knew, was very much true. Omi wouldn't want her to be down about him.]

You're right... We can't. And he wouldn't. He even told me not to worry about him. [Aya scoffs a laugh.] I told him not to say stupid things like that. Can you really expect someone to not worry about a person they care about?

[lethal_smile]

A lot of my family has also...

That is, all of my friends-- who were like family to me-- are gone. But, how to deal with it? I...

I suppose... I spend some time alone, to sort out my feelings. Then, when I'm feeling a bit better, I spend some time with the friends that I've made here.

[stillneedsakiss]

[Aya's shaken right out of her worry about Omi. At least he was alive. (And she's blissfully unaware of poor Sena's fate-- for the best, truly.)]

I'm so sorry. I really don't have any right to be moping. That's good advice.

[lethal_smile]

It's all right, I don't mind. I guess it doesn't bother me, since a lot of the people that I care about have also vanished. Misery loves company, or something?

[Hakkai laughs a bit, just because it's awkward.]

But, I don't want to make anyone else upset. That's why I usually wait until I'm feeling better to go and see my friends here. I don't want to make them worry.

[stillneedsakiss]

I don't want my friends to worry either. The idea of being a burden bothers me. In that sense, I probably should have tried to filter this so they wouldn't see.

Except... I also don't want to hide how I feel. They'd want to know and I... Another part of me thinks what makes a friendship strong is the experience of enduring together as much as you enjoy together. A-and it's always so frustrating when I know they're hurting but refusing to confide or let me try to help so it makes me think that I should make an effort not to do the same to them... I'm rambling. I'm sorry.