The boys are working on a big case involving a prostitute, a candle stick, and a conservatory. It's like playing a big game of X Rated Cluedo.

My wife bought the orange juice without pulp again. It's no fun if it's not pulpy.

My doctor says I've got to keep my blood pressure down. How am I supposed to do that when there's a new OD in every toilet block and a new hustler on every corner? I do not live a low-stress lifestyle. 
He also said I've got to keep an eye on my cholesterol. The wife won't give me any more steak. 
This has been a bad day.

What happened at the Superbowl was an abomination. A disgrace to the good name of American football. A disgrace to American family values.

I'm glad my boys don't watch the halftime show.