Even though I'm dead, people are still trying to make withdrawals from my self-esteem account to fill their ego balloons.

Yup, learned that from a Psychology text I found. So this is where all the burned books go... I've got a lot of time on my hands, and everyone keeps calling me stupid, so I think I'll educate myself while I'm down here ( Read more... )

Things were going so well, too. I got to mack with the Boss-lady, had cast permanent midnight, and was about to bag my first Slayer, when dumbass ruins it all. He wasn't supposed to know about the dagger! Well, stupid me for leaving it around. I was using it to make a gyro for lunch ( Read more... )

If I ever meet the mortal who created Caller ID and voicemail, I will torture them a lot less than usual.

I've been a bad beast: I haven't returned The First's calls for a few weeks. If it gets distracted from Sunnydale and comes a'knockin', I should have a good story to tell it...I don't think The First will believe I was washing my hair all ( Read more... )

I was told that I could spread my evil much faster through this "internet." I still believe nothing beats an old-fashioned massacre, but I've got to change with the times to keep a job. You get respect (and plenty of chicks) when you get hired for an apocalypse ( Read more... )