Comments | stoner_girls: advice, anyone?

gia_undying in stoner_girls

advice, anyone?

Mar 03, 2008 18:42

Hey girlies, I came here because, well it relates to weed..and..relationship problems? So, here we go.

I've been with this girl for about a year now, coming up on March 9th, and I love her. I used to be really into coke and weed when we first met, and she told me she couldn't be with me if I did stuff like that. She was a straight girl, who I ( Read more... )

Comments 16

xblueduckx March 4 2008, 00:35:19 UTC

sounds to me like yall arent meant to be, hate to break it to ya

gia_undying March 4 2008, 00:38:59 UTC

:/ i know. i hear it all the time. like, how sad i look when im with her and stuff.

nightlove March 4 2008, 00:50:52 UTC

I wrote up some long thing but then I deleted it 'cause I talk too much. Here's an attempt at a shorter version ( ... )

gia_undying March 4 2008, 01:00:50 UTC

i understand what you're saying, and thanks for the advice. but, you know, she's pretty set on her thoughts and doesn't want me around. she won't listen, and you're right, i can't make her.

:/

she says she loves me so much, and she's just my sense of security. those are some questions (you put) that i definitely need to think about.

artsyspartan March 4 2008, 00:55:30 UTC

Do you argue just because of her problem with your smoking pot, or are there other things/issues between you? Does she have preconcieved notions (ie. DARE programing, pot makes you crazy, you'll end up a homeless drug user, etc), that might be changed if you tried to talk with her or explain why pot works in your life? Which is more important to you, having her, or having pot? Would things go back to the way they were (i'm assuming you two were happy before she found out you started smoking again) if you stopped? Or has this created a permanent rift, or pointed out fundamental differences in desires/lifestyles? Why do you want to be with someone if you can't be yourself with them?

These are all things that i would try and ask myself in your situation. I don't think that anyone should force you to change. However, there are times when a situation or person might be worth changing for. The important thing is that you want to make the change and aren't being forced to change by the other person. Sometimes partners can help us realize ( ... )

gia_undying March 4 2008, 01:03:45 UTC

we argue because of sooo many things. trust, security, love, hate, parents, and not being able to see each other often. and she i don't think she has any preconceived ideas or notions, just that she grew up in a healthy family, with friends who are super super against what they call "drug abusers" ( i would never hurt my weed, :] ) i just don't know. but thanks so much, you too gave me plenty to think about.

idreamwideyed March 4 2008, 01:07:48 UTC

you should never have to change yourself for love.

and your hair is fucking wicked i love it.

gia_undying March 4 2008, 01:12:30 UTC

thanks. :) no changing myself, but..shouldnt i also want to 'better myself' for the one i love? i guess thats how she puts it. but i guess nightlove is right in a way when she says that i need to recognize that i am a pothead. :/

nightlove March 4 2008, 01:38:09 UTC

*laughs* Well hey, I think artsyspartan was pretty bang-on... um, I think they said some things I'd been trying to say, but failed at. You might be a pothead now, but you can change that if you want to and even if you don't you might change your mind in the future. It could be effecting your life in not-so-healthy ways that you are currently unaware of. She, and your relationship with her, might be worth changing for. Conversely, the differences might be too great despite the love each of you has for the other... and sometimes it's best to admit that and begin the process of moving on.

Don't mind my laughing; I like to give out advice (I'm bad at following my own!) and yet I'm still constantly surprised when I see people following it. :P Even if only partially.

artsyspartan March 4 2008, 01:47:33 UTC

thanks :)

tarqness March 4 2008, 01:51:07 UTC

OK, first, I think it's great you stopped coke. That shit will kill you. (Former nurse and full-time mom, here.. Hence the lecture)

However, if she doesn't like weed, don't do the Thurgood Half-Baked thing.. Ugh. I wanted to slap that bitch in that movie.

Anyway, you shouldn't have to change for the right person. To loosely quote the movie Juno: The right person will always think the sun shines out your ass no matter what.