My Step-son is a prick

[stormriderjd]

Yesterday I had the day scheduled off so I could have time with my son and daughter before school started tomorrow. Instead I had to spend the entire day doing damage control for my lazy step-son who failed his summer English course and now has decided to change majors

Comments

[gaeriwitch]

Your step-son really looks like a not too worthy young man. I am sorry to see that your marriage is suffering so much as a result of him and his mother's attitude toward him.

*hugs*

[caseytalk]

Have you tried family counseling? It sounds as if it may help if she hears it from some one other than you. She may feel you and he are trying to force her to choose between her love for you and her love for him. If so, it's killing her inside, I bet. She knows he's being a prick.

You can't take him any more, fair enough. Do you love her?

(P.S. I believe in separate bank accounts even when marriages go well. We have a Yours, a Mine, and an Ours. The latter is used for joint bills and we both chip in proportionate to our earnings. What I do with the rest of my money once the bills are paid is up to me.)

[irreparable]

I'm sorry to hear this - I'm also a big believer in the yours/mine/ours bank accounts like caseytalk above me. Money aside, I'm sorry to hear such a strain is being put on your marriage. *hugs*

[theoldcatlady]

Wow. Sorry to hear you're having troubles. Stress = no fun. I'm thinking your wife loves you and loves her son and wouldn't let either of you drown financially as long as she could do something about it.

Given that however, her son is an adult (from what I recall from a former post) and should take responsibility for his own finances. Your wife is an enabler which is not doing her son any good in the long run, i.e. he won't learn to take responsibility if she's not allowing him to learn the consequences of his actions or inactions. It is a parents job to produce independent adults and son won't be as long as he's still receiving cash flow through the umbilicus.

If you still love your wife (and I'm thinking you do, it's just become difficult due to her enabling of her son), try family counseling as Casey suggested. If they won't go with you, go alone, it'll still help.

Hang in there, JD, we're pulling for you. :-)

:(

[guerabella]

Oh no! I remember you had mentioned before about your stepson not doing well in his classes. I didn't realize it was causing so many problems in your marriage. If you love her, I would agree with Casey that it's worth a shot to try counseling before you throw in the towel. Opening a new account isn't a bad idea, though, whether you leave or decide to stay and stick it out. Couldn't you also just refuse to pay for anymore of his classes? He needs a good dose of reality, and she needs to see reason - that by constantly trying to bail him out, she's doing him more harm than good. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. *huggles*