i very seriously think i am bipolar.

today was not a good day. i needed to talk to liam and i did, and he was great, i just...i want to be there. i think getting there will be so great for me and i can't be there and it depresses me.

i also have mono. superb.

i should go to bed. be in bed by 11. maybe i will do.

for anyone who was here and read the last entry...it was misguided and as such has been deleted. stay tuned.

I'm in the worst mother fucking mood today. I can't deal with people. I'm not even dealing with PMS. I think it's all the fighting from this weekend. I cannot wait to go home this upcoming weekend. Get drunk, spend some time with the family. It'll be good ( Read more... )

I've decided I am marrying a very stubborn man. And he is marrying a very stubborn woman. Perhaps thats not such a bad thing? Or maybe it's not. I don't know. It's hard. I hate this motha fuckin distance and I hate fighting with him. It fuckin blows ( Read more... )

ever just have nothing positive to say? that'd be this girl right here. every thought i have is negative and its starting to get on my nerves. it's unfuckinbelievable. i'm trying real hard to keep myself positive and happy but it's hard dammit ( Read more... )

stupid mother fucking debt

liam is pretty fucking amazing though. let me just say that much.

stupid fucing debt

This being upset thing. it's not as bad as it has been but it's not perfect either. I mean, Sunday was just the most amazing day. I went to church and yeah, it was awesome and I want to go more often and it makes me feel a little happier knowing I have somewhere to go when I need to. And then I had brunch and it wasn't horrible and then I talked ( Read more... )

this generally saddened mood needs to leave me alone. I'm sick and tired of the crying and depression. I know some of it is down to not being with Liam, and some of it might be down to wanting to be there this upcoming week specifically, and some of it is the seasonal depression I feel every year, and then the rest could be the whole classes/ ( Read more... )

So, liam probably won't be here for graduation. which is a big deal to me. i mean, i know it's not his choice and if he could be here he will be here but i don't think it's going to happen. thats my defeatist attitude for ya ( Read more... )

so carolyn and i decided we were gonna change our room around. we bunked the beds and have both desks along one wall and her dresser between them and then my dresser is at the bottom of our beds. it's cool. we have a lot of room now. i think we are going to start doing pilates ( Read more... )