...You know that sleeping huge amounts and not being able to wake up in a timely fashion is a classic symptom of depression, right? You're not a bad person. You have a condition that isn't 100% under control. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. You are a person who's doing the best you can in the face of one hell of a head wind. ALSO, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.
You could also have a sleep disorder- I know you mentioned sleeping over 24 hours at one point. Either way, it doesn't make you a bad person. Not being in control of your finances doesn't make you a bad person. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to deal with things like financial stress and all the "normal" or "adult" shit in life is also a pretty big part of depression for a lot of people, myself included.
I'm checking with my wife about the security clearance thing.
My wife (who held security clearance at two large defense contractors before she left to teach), says that it's kind of "yes" on both counts to the security clearance. Technically, your old company paid for the clearance, so it drops when you leave them. However, because you've already GOT the clearance, you can tell potential employers that you were cleared, and all they have to submit is an update form. The legwork (interviews, background check, etc.) have already been done, and that's the costly, time-consuming part.
I didn't relay specifics to her, but she says that since you weren't fired for an issue that compromised your clearance, that won't reflect on any update to the clearance.
I have to come back and deal with all the comments, but omg, thank you SO MUCH for explaining that. That makes me feel a lot better that I still have those opportunities.
First, I echo everyone above- you are NOT a bad person. You are a person who (may) have made some mistakes, but that doesn't mean anything about the essential "goodness" or "badness" of you, and it's irrelevant to your situation right now, and fixating on it isn't going to help things or make the situation better. It's weirdly counter-intuitive, but this is the point where you have to pump yourself up and feel good about yourself
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...You know that sleeping huge amounts and not being able to wake up in a timely fashion is a classic symptom of depression, right? You're not a bad person. You have a condition that isn't 100% under control. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON. You are a person who's doing the best you can in the face of one hell of a head wind. ALSO, YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON.
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You could also have a sleep disorder- I know you mentioned sleeping over 24 hours at one point. Either way, it doesn't make you a bad person. Not being in control of your finances doesn't make you a bad person. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to deal with things like financial stress and all the "normal" or "adult" shit in life is also a pretty big part of depression for a lot of people, myself included.
I'm checking with my wife about the security clearance thing.
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I didn't relay specifics to her, but she says that since you weren't fired for an issue that compromised your clearance, that won't reflect on any update to the clearance.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. :(
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