I think it's ironic that this was my free will astrology from this past week:

"One reason I've been put on this earth is to expose you to a kind of astrology that doesn't crush your free will, but instead clarifies your choices. In this horoscope, for instance, I'll crisply delineate our options so that you may decide upon a bold course of action ( Read more... )

I finally did it: I shut down the last piece of connection I have with Dark Huntre. Even though I had told her Wednesday that I needed to not have contact with her, I still kept her on as a friend on livejournal. I had even mentioned that I could take her off as a friend if she wanted, so that she wouldn't see my entries. She was very passionate ( Read more... )

( Sage-Ology )

Damn. I look back at some of my entries from the past few days (and today) and I can't help but cringe. Is that really me? Lord, I sound like a desperate, fatalistic girl. Damn. I get so lost in my hurt ( Read more... )

This is fucking ridiculous. I have to stop wallowing in this or I'm going to tear myself apart. I just can't keep focusing on this. I don't know how, but I need to find a way to move past this... to move past her. I love her more than anyone in this world, but it hurts too much to be in love her. There's got to be some way to get over her. I wish ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning with such an open heart. Even when I would think about Dark Huntre, I was able to distance myself and just look at her from a different perspective- not as my lover or partner, but just another human being. I'm realizing I cannot feed the connection we have; that's a dangerous place for me to go. The more I feed it, the more ( Read more... )

I finally took a risk in making a choice to do something that I probably should have done a long time ago: I told Dark Huntre that I need space on a level in which we have no contact at all. Right now I cannot have her in my life. I literally felt a sense of peace and release course throughout my body after I told her this. Funny thing is, this was ( Read more... )

A part of me just wants to destroy everything you gave me, everything that reminds me of you. I took the picture of us down last night. This is what it fucking took for me to take it down. I wanted to throw it across the room and then turn it against myself. I wanted to break it. I want to break everything that you are and were and have been to me ( Read more... )

i'm sitting here ( Read more... )

I'm not used to the idea of hardening my heart against you. I don't know what else to do. The thought of just sitting here with an open heart towards you is too fucking painful. God, did I really need to know? Me and my big fucking mouth. I wasn't ready for this. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS. Why is it that life just fucking knocks you off your feet ( Read more... )