Shawn Can't Believe It's Not …Murder - HL/Psych - (2/3)
Title: Shawn Can't Believe It's Not …Murder - (2/3)
Author: Strangevisitor7
Beta: ithildyn
Prompt: #66: Rain for crossovers100. (Four prompts to go \o/)
Rated: G
Fandom: HL & Psych
Characters: Shawn, Gus, Adam Pierson (Methos) and mentions of Lassiter
Disclaimer: The characters you know and love all belong to their respective creators.
Summary: Shawn and Gus follow Lassiter to his meeting with Adam Pierson (Methos)
A/N: This chapter is for my son who wanted to see Shawn annoy meet Methos
Chapter List:
Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3
Shawn Can't Believe It's Not …Murder
"Shawn, why are we following Detective Lassiter?" Gus asked as they ducked behind a car in the parking lot.
"Because something wasn't right about that dead body in the alley." Shawn moved to crouch behind another car to get a better view of Lassiter. "I have to know why Lassie lied."
"I thought that case was ruled an accident." Gus peered over the hood of the red Ford Explorer to see Lassiter join a dark haired guy on a bench facing the ocean.
Shawn gave Gus one of his patented, how-stupid-can- you-be-looks. "Really, Gus? Really? You buy that a guy can accidentally decapitate himself."
"But Lassiter said - "
"All the evidence was lost or contaminated. Lassie's too good a cop to let that happen without a reason."
"Did you just compliment your nemesis?"
"What, you don't think I can do compliments?" He waved off Gus’ attempt to retort. "You really think Lassie's my nemesis because our superhero alter egos, Psych-Man and MagicHead, need a good nemesis.
"No we don't - they don't- They aren't real, Shawn."
"Maybe we should give Lassie a cool supervillain name like Tightly-Wound Man or Tall Man - no that's no good. How about - "
"Shawn, focus! What's all this got to do with watching him talk to some guy at the beach?"
Shawn stared at the two men as he answered, "It was just Lassie's word about what happened yesterday and it doesn't add up."
Gus frowned. "It made sense the way he explained it."
Shawn gave him a patronizing smile. "Of course it does - to you and to everyone else, but Pysch-Man knows better." Shawn's voice dipped into announcer tone as he spoke his superhero name.
"I'm so sorry I ever called him your nemesis," Gus mumbled.
"Lassie's been acting weird - weirder than normal," Shawn was quick to clarify.
Eyes narrowing, Gus stared at his friend. "You're not suggesting that Lassiter killed that guy in the alley?"
Shawn scoffed. "Lassie would never use a sword to kill a guy, he loves his gun too much, but I'm thinking he knows who did."
Then he took off, doing a ridiculously faux stealthy move to get closer to the pair on the bench. Shawn thought his zigzagging had real flair. He was happy to see that Gus had followed his erratic pattern precisely.
Shawn's eyes narrowed as he studied the mysterious stranger seated next to the detective.
"Anything strike you as odd about Lassie's friend?"
"Besides that fact that he has a friend, no," Gus replied.
"The guy is wearing a long raincoat on a sunny day and the temperature is in the 80's."
"Maybe he's cold."
Shawn rolled his eyes at Gus and went back to studying the pair without answering.
"Fine, Shawn, the guy's dressed wrong, but you still haven't explained why we're following Lassiter around."
"I'm thinking our nemesis, Mr. Cranky Pants…Gun Boy- Help me out here, Gus, I can't come up with a good name for Lassie's alter ego."
Gus just stared at Shawn refusing to play along. "So, no help on the nickname then," Shawn said before a smile lit up his face. "It is possible that Bulletina is really a henchman for that guy; he's the real villain of the piece."
"Bulletina?"
"Sure, he likes to shoot his gun and he's a big girl," Shawn explained with a shrug.
Gus nodded his approval of the nickname.
They watched as Lassiter stood and continued to talk with the mysterious stranger before heading down the beach away form them.
"Did Lassiter just smile - I mean really smile?" Gus asked.
"He did, and now I think I may need a bath."
"You don't think they could actually be friends and Lassiter is covering up a murder for him?"
"You know what they say Gus; an old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body."
"Been there done that," Gus quipped.
"There's only one way to find out what kind of friend that guy is to Lassie." Shawn stood and began moving toward the bench only to have Gus pull him back down.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Shawn. You just said you think he could be a killer."
Shawn shrugged off Gus' grip. “Even if he is, he isn't going to kill us on a busy beach in front of witnesses," Shawn assured him and took off toward the stranger.
"That's not very comforting, Shawn," Gus hissed out as he caught up with his friend.
They walked side by side toward their target. "And that is why you should never poke a badger with a spoon," Shawn said with a flourish as he plopped down on the bench next to Lassie's mysterious friend.
Gus joined him. "I'm glad you explained that."
Shawn looked over at the man, who was doing his best to ignore them, and smiled. "You know, it almost never rains in Santa Barbara."
"Excuse me?" The man quirked an eyebrow at him.
"The rain coat." Shawn gestured at the man's apparel. "Don't really need one of those today."
"Do I know you?"
"Shawn Spencer," he held out his hand, "and this is my friend, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot."
The man hesitated as he looked them both over. "Adam Pierson," he said.
"Pierson; like in pierce with sword." Shawn made a little jabbing motion with his hand, imitating a sword thrust and Adam just stared at him. "Actually, maybe more like what you're doing with your eyes right there," he circled his hand in front of Adam's face, "because that is one piercing glare."
Adam didn't say anything and returned to gazing at the ocean.
Shawn felt Gus poke him in the ribs. "I think you're making him mad; please don't make him mad."
Waving a hand to quiet Gus, Shawn surreptitiously studied Adam who was doing his best to ignore the interruption to his peaceful afternoon. "So the coat; you expecting rain or is it just a convenient place to keep your sword?"
Shawn caught the hesitation as the man stopped himself from tugging on his coat, indicating that there was in fact something hidden within the confines of the long garment. He also noticed a flicker of concern cross Adam's face before the man plastered on a false smile.
"I'm afraid I haven't mastered the subtleties of American humor, so you'll forgive me if I don't understand your question."
"You're British!" Shawn said with exaggerated enthusiasm, looking over at Gus he repeated, "He's British, that explains the raincoat."
"It rains a lot there," Gus agreed.
"Is there something I can do for you gentlemen?" Adam asked. "Or is it simply the habit of the residents of this town to interrupt strangers while they are tying to relax?"
"Oswald and I are part of the Santa Barbara welcoming committee," Shawn said. "And we just wanted to make sure you were enjoying your visit to our fair city."
"That's right, and we were hoping you might answer some questions about your experience in town."
Adam shifted to face them one hand draped across the back of the bench. "All right,” he smirked. "I'll play along. What do you want to know?"
It was obvious to Shawn that the man knew they were lying. It was time to dispense with the charade. "Carlton Lassiter; is he the kind of friend who'd help you move a dead body? I just wondered because he's never offered to help me move a body."
"I don't think he likes you enough," Gus added.
Adams eyes narrowed slightly but otherwise Shawn could detect no sign that what he'd said affected the man. "Who?"
Shawn pointed down the beach. "Lassie, the guy who was just here talking to you. Tall, thin, likes his gun, very tightly wound, not what you'd call handsome."
"I don’t know, Shawn," Gus said. "I think he's rather striking looking."
"True, it’s the eyes. He does have the most beautiful blue eyes. Did you ever notice his eyes?" He asked Adam.
"I'm sorry," Adam said. "But I truly have no idea what you two are rambling on about." He made a point of looking at his watch. "I'm afraid I have a plane to catch, so if you excuse me." Methos stood up and straightened his coat.
"No I don’t," Shawn said as he also stood.
"Don't what?"
"Excuse you. You asked and I said no; that means you have to stay."
Adam huffed out a breath. "I wasn't asking permission."
"And yet, I clearly heard you ask for permission. Didn't you hear him, Oswald?"
"I did."
Adam threw up his hands and began walking away. Shawn followed. "How about we get some lunch? I know place that makes the best burgers and we can get a couple of pineapple smoothies. I'd love to hear how you and Lassie met. I bet that's a fun story."
Adam turned on him. "This is the last time I will be polite. Please go away, now."
"Or what? You'll whip out your sword and cut off my head." Shawn's chuckle died on his lips as the full force of Methos' glare hit him.
"Don't tempt me," he snarled, and then as if realizing he might have given something away, Adam burst out laughing. "Just kidding. That's American humor right?"
"No need to explain," Gus said frantically. "Shawn has that affect on people. Sorry to have bothered you, we’ll be going now." Gus grabbed Shawn's arm and dragged him down the beach away form Adam.
As they walked, Shawn shook out of Gus' grip. "Dude, what are you doing? I had him on the ropes."
"That man looked like he wanted to kill you."
"Pfft, like that hasn't happened before."
"That guy," Gus pointed behind him, "is definitely capable of murder."
"And now he's gone.” Shawn threw up his arms in disgust as he realized that Adam had used Gus' panic to disappear. "Just great, Gus. Now we'll never find out why he's carrying a sword around."
"He had a sword with him?" Gus croaked out.
"Don't you see anything?" Shawn sighed. "It was tucked inside the lining. The coat was all stiff and not flowy whenever he moved."
"Flowy?"
"What? It's a word."
"You really thinking that that guy is a murderer and Lassiter helped him cover it up. I mean maybe he was just telling Pierson to get out of town or something equally threatening."
"Lassie? Threatening?" Shawn scoffed. "No, he knows that guy and knows him well." He sifted through everything his mind had catalogued about Lassie's mysterious friend.
"But Lassiter doesn't break the law - ever," Gus insisted.
"I think it might be possible that Lassie could have somehow maybe assisted Adam in covering up a crime," he said. Shawn knew without a doubt that the detective had done the unthinkable, but he wasn't ready to share that with Gus. His sidekick was right, criminal activity was so out of character for Lassiter that Shawn was at a loss on how to proceed.
"Way to be definitive?"
"Well, I don't really have any evidence, do I, Gus?" Shawn found himself getting angry, not at Gus, but at Lassiter for participating in a crime. He'd trusted the guy and sort of considered him a friend. "I can't very well go waltzing into the chief's office and accuse someone of being an accessory to murder without evidence, can I?"
"That's never stopped you before."
"True," Shawn said with a shrug. "But, there's always a first time." He suspected that Adam would be calling Lassiter about their conversation. Maybe then he'd get an explanation from the detective if he thought Shawn already knew some of the answers. Until then, he'd have to be patient and let the case drop. "You know what, Gus? I'm probably wrong about the whole thing. I mean, this is Lassiter. You're right, the man doesn't even jaywalk. How could I possibly think he's capable of covering up a murder? It's just silly."
Gus stared at Shawn. "Did you just say you were wrong and I was right? I think I need to write this down." Gus pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket. "And I need you to sign and witness this because I want proof."
"Don't make a big deal about it," Shawn said ignoring Gus' attempts to get him to sign the note. "Hey, how about we get a couple of pineapple smoothies. I'm buying."
"You're buying? Oh hell yes, this is definitely a day I have to remember." And Gus made an additional notation on his paper.
"I know it's one I'll never forget." Shawn said quietly before clapping his hands together in an effort to dispel his growing uncertainty about Lassiter and announcing brightly, "Can I just borrow a few bucks because I left my wallet at the office."
Gus just shook his head. "Of course you offer to buy when you have no money. Get me all in the mood for smoothies," Gus mumbled as he headed back to the parking lot.
"I'll pay you back!" Shawn called after him.
"You never pay me back," Gus barked over his shoulder.
"True, but good friends don't keep track." Shawn jogged to catch up to Gus.
"Good friends don't mooch all the time!"
They were bantering like always, but the situation with Lassiter still bothered Shawn. He knew that he wouldn't be able to let it go until Lassie had spilled all he knew about Adam. It's said that confession was good for the soul and Shawn wondered if he pushed his average level of annoyance into overdrive if Lassiter might not agree.
The end
Author: Strangevisitor7
Beta: ithildyn
Prompt: #66: Rain for crossovers100. (Four prompts to go \o/)
Rated: G
Fandom: HL & Psych
Characters: Shawn, Gus, Adam Pierson (Methos) and mentions of Lassiter
Disclaimer: The characters you know and love all belong to their respective creators.
Summary: Shawn and Gus follow Lassiter to his meeting with Adam Pierson (Methos)
A/N: This chapter is for my son who wanted to see Shawn annoy meet Methos
Chapter List:
Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3
Shawn Can't Believe It's Not …Murder
"Shawn, why are we following Detective Lassiter?" Gus asked as they ducked behind a car in the parking lot.
"Because something wasn't right about that dead body in the alley." Shawn moved to crouch behind another car to get a better view of Lassiter. "I have to know why Lassie lied."
"I thought that case was ruled an accident." Gus peered over the hood of the red Ford Explorer to see Lassiter join a dark haired guy on a bench facing the ocean.
Shawn gave Gus one of his patented, how-stupid-can- you-be-looks. "Really, Gus? Really? You buy that a guy can accidentally decapitate himself."
"But Lassiter said - "
"All the evidence was lost or contaminated. Lassie's too good a cop to let that happen without a reason."
"Did you just compliment your nemesis?"
"What, you don't think I can do compliments?" He waved off Gus’ attempt to retort. "You really think Lassie's my nemesis because our superhero alter egos, Psych-Man and MagicHead, need a good nemesis.
"No we don't - they don't- They aren't real, Shawn."
"Maybe we should give Lassie a cool supervillain name like Tightly-Wound Man or Tall Man - no that's no good. How about - "
"Shawn, focus! What's all this got to do with watching him talk to some guy at the beach?"
Shawn stared at the two men as he answered, "It was just Lassie's word about what happened yesterday and it doesn't add up."
Gus frowned. "It made sense the way he explained it."
Shawn gave him a patronizing smile. "Of course it does - to you and to everyone else, but Pysch-Man knows better." Shawn's voice dipped into announcer tone as he spoke his superhero name.
"I'm so sorry I ever called him your nemesis," Gus mumbled.
"Lassie's been acting weird - weirder than normal," Shawn was quick to clarify.
Eyes narrowing, Gus stared at his friend. "You're not suggesting that Lassiter killed that guy in the alley?"
Shawn scoffed. "Lassie would never use a sword to kill a guy, he loves his gun too much, but I'm thinking he knows who did."
Then he took off, doing a ridiculously faux stealthy move to get closer to the pair on the bench. Shawn thought his zigzagging had real flair. He was happy to see that Gus had followed his erratic pattern precisely.
Shawn's eyes narrowed as he studied the mysterious stranger seated next to the detective.
"Anything strike you as odd about Lassie's friend?"
"Besides that fact that he has a friend, no," Gus replied.
"The guy is wearing a long raincoat on a sunny day and the temperature is in the 80's."
"Maybe he's cold."
Shawn rolled his eyes at Gus and went back to studying the pair without answering.
"Fine, Shawn, the guy's dressed wrong, but you still haven't explained why we're following Lassiter around."
"I'm thinking our nemesis, Mr. Cranky Pants…Gun Boy- Help me out here, Gus, I can't come up with a good name for Lassie's alter ego."
Gus just stared at Shawn refusing to play along. "So, no help on the nickname then," Shawn said before a smile lit up his face. "It is possible that Bulletina is really a henchman for that guy; he's the real villain of the piece."
"Bulletina?"
"Sure, he likes to shoot his gun and he's a big girl," Shawn explained with a shrug.
Gus nodded his approval of the nickname.
They watched as Lassiter stood and continued to talk with the mysterious stranger before heading down the beach away form them.
"Did Lassiter just smile - I mean really smile?" Gus asked.
"He did, and now I think I may need a bath."
"You don't think they could actually be friends and Lassiter is covering up a murder for him?"
"You know what they say Gus; an old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body."
"Been there done that," Gus quipped.
"There's only one way to find out what kind of friend that guy is to Lassie." Shawn stood and began moving toward the bench only to have Gus pull him back down.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Shawn. You just said you think he could be a killer."
Shawn shrugged off Gus' grip. “Even if he is, he isn't going to kill us on a busy beach in front of witnesses," Shawn assured him and took off toward the stranger.
"That's not very comforting, Shawn," Gus hissed out as he caught up with his friend.
They walked side by side toward their target. "And that is why you should never poke a badger with a spoon," Shawn said with a flourish as he plopped down on the bench next to Lassie's mysterious friend.
Gus joined him. "I'm glad you explained that."
Shawn looked over at the man, who was doing his best to ignore them, and smiled. "You know, it almost never rains in Santa Barbara."
"Excuse me?" The man quirked an eyebrow at him.
"The rain coat." Shawn gestured at the man's apparel. "Don't really need one of those today."
"Do I know you?"
"Shawn Spencer," he held out his hand, "and this is my friend, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot."
The man hesitated as he looked them both over. "Adam Pierson," he said.
"Pierson; like in pierce with sword." Shawn made a little jabbing motion with his hand, imitating a sword thrust and Adam just stared at him. "Actually, maybe more like what you're doing with your eyes right there," he circled his hand in front of Adam's face, "because that is one piercing glare."
Adam didn't say anything and returned to gazing at the ocean.
Shawn felt Gus poke him in the ribs. "I think you're making him mad; please don't make him mad."
Waving a hand to quiet Gus, Shawn surreptitiously studied Adam who was doing his best to ignore the interruption to his peaceful afternoon. "So the coat; you expecting rain or is it just a convenient place to keep your sword?"
Shawn caught the hesitation as the man stopped himself from tugging on his coat, indicating that there was in fact something hidden within the confines of the long garment. He also noticed a flicker of concern cross Adam's face before the man plastered on a false smile.
"I'm afraid I haven't mastered the subtleties of American humor, so you'll forgive me if I don't understand your question."
"You're British!" Shawn said with exaggerated enthusiasm, looking over at Gus he repeated, "He's British, that explains the raincoat."
"It rains a lot there," Gus agreed.
"Is there something I can do for you gentlemen?" Adam asked. "Or is it simply the habit of the residents of this town to interrupt strangers while they are tying to relax?"
"Oswald and I are part of the Santa Barbara welcoming committee," Shawn said. "And we just wanted to make sure you were enjoying your visit to our fair city."
"That's right, and we were hoping you might answer some questions about your experience in town."
Adam shifted to face them one hand draped across the back of the bench. "All right,” he smirked. "I'll play along. What do you want to know?"
It was obvious to Shawn that the man knew they were lying. It was time to dispense with the charade. "Carlton Lassiter; is he the kind of friend who'd help you move a dead body? I just wondered because he's never offered to help me move a body."
"I don't think he likes you enough," Gus added.
Adams eyes narrowed slightly but otherwise Shawn could detect no sign that what he'd said affected the man. "Who?"
Shawn pointed down the beach. "Lassie, the guy who was just here talking to you. Tall, thin, likes his gun, very tightly wound, not what you'd call handsome."
"I don’t know, Shawn," Gus said. "I think he's rather striking looking."
"True, it’s the eyes. He does have the most beautiful blue eyes. Did you ever notice his eyes?" He asked Adam.
"I'm sorry," Adam said. "But I truly have no idea what you two are rambling on about." He made a point of looking at his watch. "I'm afraid I have a plane to catch, so if you excuse me." Methos stood up and straightened his coat.
"No I don’t," Shawn said as he also stood.
"Don't what?"
"Excuse you. You asked and I said no; that means you have to stay."
Adam huffed out a breath. "I wasn't asking permission."
"And yet, I clearly heard you ask for permission. Didn't you hear him, Oswald?"
"I did."
Adam threw up his hands and began walking away. Shawn followed. "How about we get some lunch? I know place that makes the best burgers and we can get a couple of pineapple smoothies. I'd love to hear how you and Lassie met. I bet that's a fun story."
Adam turned on him. "This is the last time I will be polite. Please go away, now."
"Or what? You'll whip out your sword and cut off my head." Shawn's chuckle died on his lips as the full force of Methos' glare hit him.
"Don't tempt me," he snarled, and then as if realizing he might have given something away, Adam burst out laughing. "Just kidding. That's American humor right?"
"No need to explain," Gus said frantically. "Shawn has that affect on people. Sorry to have bothered you, we’ll be going now." Gus grabbed Shawn's arm and dragged him down the beach away form Adam.
As they walked, Shawn shook out of Gus' grip. "Dude, what are you doing? I had him on the ropes."
"That man looked like he wanted to kill you."
"Pfft, like that hasn't happened before."
"That guy," Gus pointed behind him, "is definitely capable of murder."
"And now he's gone.” Shawn threw up his arms in disgust as he realized that Adam had used Gus' panic to disappear. "Just great, Gus. Now we'll never find out why he's carrying a sword around."
"He had a sword with him?" Gus croaked out.
"Don't you see anything?" Shawn sighed. "It was tucked inside the lining. The coat was all stiff and not flowy whenever he moved."
"Flowy?"
"What? It's a word."
"You really thinking that that guy is a murderer and Lassiter helped him cover it up. I mean maybe he was just telling Pierson to get out of town or something equally threatening."
"Lassie? Threatening?" Shawn scoffed. "No, he knows that guy and knows him well." He sifted through everything his mind had catalogued about Lassie's mysterious friend.
"But Lassiter doesn't break the law - ever," Gus insisted.
"I think it might be possible that Lassie could have somehow maybe assisted Adam in covering up a crime," he said. Shawn knew without a doubt that the detective had done the unthinkable, but he wasn't ready to share that with Gus. His sidekick was right, criminal activity was so out of character for Lassiter that Shawn was at a loss on how to proceed.
"Way to be definitive?"
"Well, I don't really have any evidence, do I, Gus?" Shawn found himself getting angry, not at Gus, but at Lassiter for participating in a crime. He'd trusted the guy and sort of considered him a friend. "I can't very well go waltzing into the chief's office and accuse someone of being an accessory to murder without evidence, can I?"
"That's never stopped you before."
"True," Shawn said with a shrug. "But, there's always a first time." He suspected that Adam would be calling Lassiter about their conversation. Maybe then he'd get an explanation from the detective if he thought Shawn already knew some of the answers. Until then, he'd have to be patient and let the case drop. "You know what, Gus? I'm probably wrong about the whole thing. I mean, this is Lassiter. You're right, the man doesn't even jaywalk. How could I possibly think he's capable of covering up a murder? It's just silly."
Gus stared at Shawn. "Did you just say you were wrong and I was right? I think I need to write this down." Gus pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket. "And I need you to sign and witness this because I want proof."
"Don't make a big deal about it," Shawn said ignoring Gus' attempts to get him to sign the note. "Hey, how about we get a couple of pineapple smoothies. I'm buying."
"You're buying? Oh hell yes, this is definitely a day I have to remember." And Gus made an additional notation on his paper.
"I know it's one I'll never forget." Shawn said quietly before clapping his hands together in an effort to dispel his growing uncertainty about Lassiter and announcing brightly, "Can I just borrow a few bucks because I left my wallet at the office."
Gus just shook his head. "Of course you offer to buy when you have no money. Get me all in the mood for smoothies," Gus mumbled as he headed back to the parking lot.
"I'll pay you back!" Shawn called after him.
"You never pay me back," Gus barked over his shoulder.
"True, but good friends don't keep track." Shawn jogged to catch up to Gus.
"Good friends don't mooch all the time!"
They were bantering like always, but the situation with Lassiter still bothered Shawn. He knew that he wouldn't be able to let it go until Lassie had spilled all he knew about Adam. It's said that confession was good for the soul and Shawn wondered if he pushed his average level of annoyance into overdrive if Lassiter might not agree.
The end