maybe I am complicated...maybe I am immature. I just let the insults be at me, I have nothing to say back because deep inside a tiny bit of hope flickers that he'll apologize, take everything back, and I can be with the person I fell so hard for. The harsh truth is that I know he won't. He's too prideful and self-rightous. In the end, when the ( Read more... )

Once when I was little, I was at a museum and there was a sign next to an exhibit that said "do not touch." It wasn't that I wanted to break the piece of artwork or that I was intrigued by it...I simply wanted to touch it, only because the sign said not to. I wanted to see if I was above the rules, if I could get away with it. I wanted to feel the ( Read more... )

I haven't written in god knows how long, not even for school, but let's give this a try ( Read more... )

I haven't written months but I need to vent. I need an outlet. This year, although productive, has been a rocky one. My sophomore year of highschool is nothing what I expected it to be in the summer. When friendships are new they have this excitement, freshness, trusting, and overall naiive feeling that accompanies them. With all of the friends ( Read more... )

The other night as I was biligerently drunk I thought it would be interesting to discuss LOVVVEEE with a few friends. I probably blabbed on, not making any sense at all. I asked a certain someone if they ever loved their ex-girlfriend. I was surprised at his answer because his answer wasn't along the lines of "I always will love her, i regret ( Read more... )

I have a millionaire who is smart, funny, sweet, fun and everything most girls look for in a boyfriend...according to Jenny he's been "thinking about me alot" ok so I should be excited for him to come back, right? I should be anxiously counting down the days. But why oh WHY am I hooking up with the aloof ex who never seems to get it, who takes me ( Read more... )

There is no easy way to lead into what I'm about to say. As each day goes by it becomes more apparent that my parents' marriage is over. They fight constantly and the sound of your parents fighting just may be the worst noise for any child. She nags and bitches at him and he loses touch with reality more and more with each passing hour. I don't ( Read more... )

I'm so lost right now. I don't know if I want to go out or stay in. I don't know if I want to go to bed or stay up and type this LJ entry...I just don't know. As the days go by the more I begin to wish I wasn't returning to Regis in the fall, a place I never wanted to be in the first place, but I already committed myself to living with Meaghan and ( Read more... )

Lordy oh, lord. Summer is in full swing and it's nothing but a blur. I know that I am real and all the emotions I feel are real, obiously, but the people, the events, the actions seem surreal. Did I really do THAT? Am I sitting across the table from Erika, my estranged friend who's loss of friendship truly hurt? Am I really back in broomfield? I ( Read more... )

I have to admit that the last few months of school my social habits had gotten increasingly destructive and I was looking forward to summer as a time to detox and allowing my liver to recooperate. I thought I would be brought back to down to earth by summer and not feel the need to go out almost every night of the week. I thought my addiction to ( Read more... )