i thought things would slowly get easier but it gets worse with each day. as much as i try to get closer to other people it just seems like im getting farther away. i feel like ive been away from people for so long that i dont know how to talk to them or relate to them. i miss being back home. i miss being able to see people that ive known since ( Read more... )

as usual its been forever and a day since ive written anything. life has been.....busy. jack is growing up fast each day and takes up a lot of my time. work is stressing me out. i take more responsibility than i get paid for. andrew and i are on the rocks. things are rough and him working graveyard doesnt help. im slowly going back on my medication ( Read more... )

Im sitting in the breakroom at work and i need to vent. this is my job. the thing i have been wanting to do since high skewl. im good at it once i know my info. yet its completly unnoticed. they keep praising this other girl like she is the best thing ever but shes not. i want to do more but i cant cuz of skewl. i know i can be the best but ill ( Read more... )

 hello old friend
welcome back
its been awhile since weve seen each other
uve helped me through some tough times
get ready for some more
ur the only one who knows how to make me feel better
the only one who understands
u take it all away
hello old friend
welcom back

after having such a crappy time up here i was well due fur some good times and happiness. thats what this weekend was. spent the whole weekend with andrew just being a couple and hanging out with his family. made me feel like were going to be ok. like everything is ok. we fight a lot. but i wouldnt want to fight and make up with anyone else. i ( Read more... )

i knew things wouldnt be that great when i moved back up here but this is just dumb. i feel so alone and lost. i forgot that i dont have any friends up here or family. its stupid hot. fuck riverside. i miss my friends back home. even though my mom is a bitch i miss being at home. i cry every day. i love playing with jack and being here with andrew ( Read more... )

as much as i hate riverside every time i drive up here i have a sense of going home. this is where i started over where made it on my own away from everyone. where people didnt and still dont know me so i can just be me....most of the time........i still hate it up here and would rather be in san diego but it feels nice sometimes. i guess i really ( Read more... )

today was a super nice day. i should have gone for a walk but instead i sat on my ass and didnt do much. thats not anything new though. im bored out of my mind and just want to clean but how can u clean something thats already clean ( Read more... )

im bored out of my mind and kind of sleepy. i want to sleep but that would mean i would wake up early. i have no social life. how lame am i.....

after having my computer be broken for way too long i finally fixed it. i had to erase everything from my hard drive and start over but it works now. its weird that i never thought of doing that before. i guess i was holding on to the past and all the old crap that was on here. i didnt have nething important just a lot of music and pictures but i ( Read more... )