I wonder how these chemicals are manipulated to produce sanity. I often have to focus to ensure they don't fail. I feel like I'm losing something again and even if it's if not lost yet, it's only a matter of time before I negate it enough to be forgotten. I've grown tired of these personal self-esteem lectures and holding on to productivity as if ( Read more... )

"The transitory nature of relationships...". When I talk to you I speak in ( Read more... )

Ask me again how the antidote became this taciturn emotion. Life is a tradeoff. And look what I lost, what I left in the past and forgot to pick up along the way. The flow of society's productivity defines your life in the end anyway. I live in a selfish pursuit of success at whatever cost to my own humanity. Happiness is only societal ( Read more... )

I miss the smell of dried catfood that silenced cats' crying, I miss my brother's florescent hair, I miss my mother's completely unselfish nature; I don't know how I'll ever adapt to living without you ( Read more... )

I have no desire to be associated with "fun", people who define the word as ( Read more... )

So currently I am sitting in the Biology lab all alone while my enzymes bake, wearing $1 aviator sunglasses (inside), and listening to the worst band ever (Blink 182=vomit) on the radio because I can't find anything large enough to throw at it. I thought I was a cheesy dork BEFORE but I'm really starting to embrace it these days, I blame Stan...for ( Read more... )

"Please Ignore Everything I'm Saying"

I had a moment of clarity earlier today among the chess players and literates. Instances of this nature are rare in April. It makes me wonder if I created it artificially out of the hope of surviving this transition. I'm filing it under congruence.

"You could have gone to Seattle, changed your name, and ( Read more... )

I like to tell myself I'm open, that I have no secrets and nothing to be ashamed of. Not that I lack scars, just that if I'm forced to accept my own self-deprecation then I should accept it to the point of being able to be open about it with those I trust. This prevents lying and shelters the interpersonal relationships that value above all else. I ( Read more... )

So after a few very cheap beers, hazardously speeding down neighborhood roads in a ridiculously expensive sports car, laughing at the cocks from high school because they horde their beer, jump-roping, watching a whacked-out LDS girl talked into flashing numerous strangers, and hearing a gentleman that likely had consumed more drugs than I knew ( Read more... )

So I have been batting this around for much of my life and hopefully me ( Read more... )