Every omnipresent cliche.. anything dabbled with a cinch of romanticism.. all the things I would regularly roll my eyes at in conjunction with the thought "Please God, let me never become that girl".. bring a smile to my face now. I identify with them all. I honestly feel like every moment I spend with John, I fall more in love with him. But it's ( Read more... )

So today it looks like I won't be rushing to work with a hangover or still decently high, in a wrinkled lab coat with a crooked name tag, sex hair and blood shot eyes.. I'm undecided on whether this is a positive or negative.. haha the next couple days should be good.. beach & house party :)

Sometimes I feel like maybe the ultimate goal in life, like reaching that harmony with everything, is just being content with the chaos and confusion we are helplessly submerged in.. putting a cessation to the endless attempts at reasoning and trying to pinpoint unequivocal meanings. Maybe it's not supposed to make sense.. maybe all these obscure, ( Read more... )

It's so mind-bending to think that such undeniable, seemingly unshakable, feelings can so rapidly become swamped in doubt. Time, distance, and one human anomaly, an auspicious societal deviation, are decomposing such feelings surprisingly fast..

p.s. I've decided insomniacs are my idol. I wish I could manage to fail at sleep.. be consumed with ( Read more... )

[dxm + contemplating the meaning of life] =
oversensation, mind stoning
the psyche supersaturated
perceptions resonating,
echoeing through the mind's labyrinth
dissecting & rearranging haphazardly the myriad sensations, images
spewing out infinite portraits,
some cracked & bruised,
some surprisingly coherent, cohesive
hoping that one manifests authenticity,
( Read more... )

Taking a look at this love affair today's American culture has with drugs.. this infatuation with chemically altering the mind, body & soul.. I realized it's enamoured participants seem to fall into two categories. There are those who take drugs, these often being recreational, self-medicated, to amplify the components of their lives, create ( Read more... )

This is so frustratingg.. I don't feel like doing anything. not even showering haha at least right now. & these little neon dancing worms won't leave my line of vision.. it's like those specks of shit you see when you stare at the sun then look away.. and it's annoying as fuck. Last night was beyond strange. We pregamed then went to this party on ( Read more... )

I've realized that my whole life has been dictated by confusion, ambivalence, uncertainty.. not my life as in the concrete aspects, the representations of the abstract.. those appear fairly clear, because they're mundane.. they can generally be disregarded. My rooms appears orderly, my sheets match my comforter.. no confusion there, the decisions ( Read more... )

I just had the best idea ever. Go home for a weekend. Well, it's actually not that great at all.. but I was just thinking ughh I am on the brink of disaster. Ashley needs to stop sleeping so much, stop ingesting all these obscure chemicals, and start learning how to make friends. Let's just say when I'm on dxm I'm not the best friend-maker. I'm ( Read more... )