did she mean to bleed that much? did she want to? did she really think that the warm sangrene blood would spew from her veins the way it did? did her parents really mean to push her that far, what about the fat on her thighs and hips that made her so selfconsious. did that boy know what he was doing when he had her misery at the back of his mind? ( Read more... )

i wake up. i go to school. i come home for about 45 minutes and then i go to work. i come home. i talk on aim/do homework untill my eyelids cant stay up anylonger. i go to sleep. thats my week. my weekend: i hang out/jam out/make small clutters in my room. on sunday night i clean it all up. its 1:26 and i was just calmly burning some cds, taking a ( Read more... )

Today i took it slow. after having a very long weekend, i sat around, watched tv and slept. Then at 730 i went to pink up jamie from work, and the air conditioning in the car was freezing so i thought to myself how nice it would be to just roll down the windows, and breeze down the road. I tied up my brown and ugly red hair so it wouldnt get in the ( Read more... )

i love how when i went to go check my email after not checking it for a while, it said that i had 25 emails. It got me excited, since i never seem to be the subject on anyones mind. To recieve and email from some one means that you were on their mind and that they wanted to contact you in some way, which in my opininon means that you are a higher ( Read more... )

im informed of news that is quite disconcerning. although im letting it be brushed swiftly off my shoulder, id does stir up some emotions i thought i left behind. no. no, this isnt a sucide, death, im emo and sad and sufficating entry this is purely for the sake of information. On the way out into the parking lot, i saw an old friend, Stephanie, i ( Read more... )

tonight was another. and this is where i would right something really moving, trying to get my spirits up and i have no words. my ventalation system is writing, from school, from parents, from work, from friends, and from another boys that cause me sucide literacy tendencys. im tired of using big words, im done. i will no longer seek attention, ( Read more... )

i scroll down a bit hoping to find there is a comment left by a friend, and there is no comment. what does this mean? tonight was hard. it was very hard. i found someone and i lost my sanity. ive been gone for along time, in a daze. this isnt poetic this is real and what happened. we sat in the car and we talked, i cried and she sat there talking, ( Read more... )

remember in the beginning? when there was no school and you and your mom spent all day together and everything was peachy. and remember when you lived in the old house? the one with all your child hood memories? remember when nothing was harder then it seemed and anything was possible as long as you were polite and you cleaned up your room when ( Read more... )

so if i go and rant and wave and wine about how ugly i am and i slit my wrists and i cry and just be quite pitiful, will that get attention, it seems to be working for someone else. no names. this isnt pathetic for me but for him or her. if i say im ugly will people take notice, if i say that "i really just wanna fucking die right now" will people ( Read more... )

everything is fine, i have alot of good friends and even though most of the time im grounded, i have alot of fun, im starting a new job on monday and so hopefully i wont have to ask my parents for money every other hour. everything is stablizing, im done with the emotional stress that came with my first boyfriend although im glad he was there. and ( Read more... )