i don't know what to do with myself right now. there's not really much to say either. i don't want to feel empty anymore... every single day it's just more and more of the same. i'm wondering when it's going to be different, when it's going to be better. nothing is easy... but i don't have any ambition to try. it's too hard to focus on things. for ( Read more... )

i need a new job...
it's such a relief that school is almost over.
but reviewing in every single class is dumb as hell.

i'm pretty sure that i'm going to fail half of my exams.
i'm soo frustrateeeddddd!

i hope this weekend is fun.
it should be. but plans have a way
of getting made and then neglected.
oh well.

"i've never felt so not lonely, and if this could be real right now, then everyday for the rest of my life i will search for moments full of you. let's hope tomorrow won't cave in because i'm looking for someone to change me; and you make me feel so tall. i always want to be this tall ( Read more... )

"So i am reminded of things i've forgotten.
the way doors can open and people just walk in.
it's not unexpected, no it's just how you planned it.
i'm beginning to think that it might never happen.
well now it is happening."

i wish more than anything that i could say that.

my hair sucks.
i can't stand the color.
and how disgusting and frizzy and dead it is.
i used to have nice hair..
what was i thinking cutting it all off?
sometimes i really hate myself.

she said "i can't get laid in this town ( Read more... )

it's so much better this way.

i think i got my job at regal cinemas.
i get to see movies there for free.
pretty exciting eh?
i love it when different things happen.

everything gets screwed up.
just ignore me...
it's makes it a lot easier.

today has been a great day...
i know what my next tat is gonna be.
& i have a job interview at regal cinemas tomorrow.
i'm even THINKING about attending jball...
ouii.. it's as if i morphed into a brand new person today!!

i killed maddie yesterday.
it was pretty hard.
so was coming home this morning
and seeing her leash and her bowl
with food and water still in it.
it was hard to tell my parents too.
but i'm thoroughly convinced that
it was for the best.

hhmmm... maddie is dying. she can't walk up the stairs or jump onto the couch anymore, so we have to carry her everywhere... poor thing, her tumors are out of control... she's the only animal i've ever owned in my life! besides my rabbit and my fish, but they don't necessarily count ( Read more... )