I was telling my counselor that I would like it if my dad (who has a terminal illness) would write me something about what he likes or admires about me. Something I could keep after he is gone. My dad is not always one for expressing feelings. She said, "Why don't you just ask him?" So I did, even though it was scary. It turns out he has a fear of ( Read more... )

There's still a heartbeat somewhere in this defeated, broken being.

In other news, I'm about to go off to Boston for 10 days, hopefully to see a lot of my dad. He had an operation a month ago to reroute his digestive system around the tumor, today is the first day he's gone back to work because he's been feeling weak. Whether this is due to the cancer or not being able to eat much solid food yet is unknown. We have ( Read more... )

I can't seem to write much lately...well, look, here's something ( Read more... )

I LOVED Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! I also thought the straight dude was a loveable schlump who must be fairly secure with his masculinity and ego to put up with five hyper gay men criticizing his clothing, hair, apartment, food, etc., and fussing and buzzing all over him. They did a fantastic job. I also liked the whole thing about how he was ( Read more... )

Roger's idea of flirting at a bar is deconstructing an unsuspecting lady's personality like a sadistic therapist. "I could tell you that what you think of as your personality is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fair articles," he says in his typical charming fashion. "I could tell you that, given a week to study your father and the ways in which ( Read more... )

I’m so frustrated and sad. My dad, who is in his early 60s, found out in March that he has a kind of cancer that usually gives people a prognosis of less than a year to live. I’m the only member of our family who doesn’t live within 30 miles; instead I live 3500 miles away. It’s so torturous to hear about his ups and downs and not be nearby as I ( Read more... )

I had a dream Hubz and I were living somewhere cold and remote and somewhat decrepit, like an old battered house in Alaska or in a northern lighthouse. There was a big wolf trying to get in. Actually, he did get in at one point, and he was huge and had silky black fur and was not unfriendly at that moment, as I touched his soft fur. But when he ( Read more... )

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I don't want to go to my book club tomorrow, it’s my only free night (but seeing as I bitched about how the book club was never on a Wednesday night, I’d better go if I want them to respect any of my further scheduling requests.) The problem is I read the book two years ago. I enjoyed it. But I don't feel like reviewing/re-reading it. The sad fact ( Read more... )