Comments | subtle_shades: Touch

subtle_shades

Touch - Chapter 14

Jul 16, 2011 05:02

Title: Touch
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Content Notes: None
Disclaimer: I have no rights to or claims on the Naruto franchise, trademark, copyright, or characters. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: In the future what's left of humanity sends the Rokudaime Hokage back in time to make some changes. Sadly, they can't send all of her. When a seven- ( Read more... )

pg-13, naruto, touch, fanfic

Comments 18

hullo129 July 16 2011, 10:16:40 UTC

I love Obito's character in your story :D Even if he -is- imaginary and a sign of Kakashi's bad mental state... Yondaime, too. I really like how he's always suggesting he pat her head or helps Kakashi treat Sakura nicely in some other way.

The chapters with this younger Sakura are my favorites. You have no idea how much I enjoy them!! It was really cute seeing her reaction to Tenzo, and how he was excited to be liked by her as well. Making his voice break was a nice touch. =) It helped remind me to adjust his age.

The way you're transitioning from Kakashi avoiding Sakura to him finally kinda-sorta acknowledging he likes her is excellent. You executed that very nicely :) I'm interested in seeing how Kakashi's invisible friends will end up going away. I think it will be bittersweet. I like them, even if they're presence isn't necessarily a good thing.

Thank you for the update!! I'll be looking forward to the next!

dragonladyrm July 16 2011, 19:44:25 UTC

I owe subtle_shades a longer note (and I will, honest! it's the weekend, I have the time) but had to comment on 'Kakashi's invisible friends ... going away': IIRC, there's a line in one of the 'older Sakura' chapters, from Kakashi to himself, about having to visit the Memorial Stone soon so the ghosts _stay_ there. -- So Obito and Minato-sensei don't go away, just limit their interaction with Kakashi, or really, Kakashi limits the time he allows himself to imagine/see them. Er. If that makes sense ( ... )

hullo129 July 16 2011, 21:28:57 UTC

I didn't remember that line. I should pay more attention to detail! I was able to find it, though:

If I visit Obito and Minato-sensei there, they won’t follow me home. And they won’t let anyone else follow me home either. And I’m sort of hungry.

Funny line :D I guess they'll still be around, then! Though he'll still need to make the effort to limit his interaction, like you said. It seems he might already be on his way there, since Minato and Obito frowned at Kakashi thinking he was never lonely because he always had their company. Maybe they will be the ones to suggest he move on with his life? Or maybe it will have something to do with Sakura...

I love his weird relationship with them, too! I also think Kakashi knows he's got a loose wire. He sort of acknowledges it through Obito:

“Except for this,” Obito put in suddenly, his brows furrowed as he waved between himself and Minato-sensei. “This is a bit insane.”

That line cracks me up xD

subtle_shades July 17 2011, 03:41:41 UTC

You're amazing! You're all over my super secret invisible friends clues!

...And that's all I can say about that. ^_^

Thread 5

tealeavz July 16 2011, 19:08:40 UTC

I never want this story to end! So many good things this time. Tenzo's interaction with Sakura at the restaurant literally made me melt. It's so cute how she was a bit shy and sneaking glances at him and chose to sit next to him when she got back! You've also managed to explain why Tenzo and Sakura are so close in the earlier chapters (which actually happen later ( ... )

subtle_shades July 17 2011, 02:53:00 UTC

thanks! ^_^

The story is shaping up to be quite long so I can guarantee that it won't end for ages and ages.

I'm glad the Sakura/Tenzo dynamic maps onto itself nicely. It's fun to write - especially since Kakashi can't (yet) decide if he's amused by it or bitterly jealous of it.

I love poking fun at Kakashi - and thus most of the characters I write do it.

The icon came from Google pics. I have no idea where it came from or who made it but I now have them for Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. Sadly, Google pics didn't pull one for little Kakashi or Tenzo. WOE!

Thanks for reading and commenting!

juniper_11 July 17 2011, 01:30:30 UTC

Besides the fact that this chapter is really good I came away with two main points.

1. Kakashi was 100% correct in being grossed out by Sakura's bodily fluids.

&

2. I like crazy Kakashi. He has this odd charm to him.

subtle_shades July 17 2011, 02:29:41 UTC

I agree with number 1 & I'm glad about number 2.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

DLRM comment - 1 of 2 dragonladyrm July 18 2011, 06:04:45 UTC

Eeee! What to write, what to write! I don't want to spoil it for other readers (so will try not to share too many guesses) but also don't want to jog your elbow about what's next (so if I'm asking for hints, I'm not, really - I'm enjoying the unfolding of events ( ... )

Re: DLRM comment - 1 of 2 dragonladyrm July 18 2011, 06:12:38 UTC

Curse you, LJ! -- I swear I hid half of that last paragraph; Preview even had it in grey. Apologies to other readers.

Testing:
is this really colored out? it should be!
End test.

Re: DLRM comment - 1 of 2 subtle_shades July 18 2011, 15:39:40 UTC

First off - SQUEEE!!! I *love* this review! It is glorious ( ... )

DLRM comment - 2 of 2 dragonladyrm July 18 2011, 06:08:49 UTC

The red headband appears! I knew I'd like the backstory! Even though we've just gotten its first appearance and allusions to how it's a 'first place' token of sorts. There's still the matter of finding out the cause for the first fight over it. (And it's a sneaky way for Sakura to make sure Ino works on her training. *laughs in evil glee*)

Hm, what else, what else.... Funny-odd that Kakashi comments that Tenzo clearly needs a dog, but we haven't seem him summon his. (Man can't take his own unspoken advice. Sigh.) And Rokudaime has dropped remarks about being a summoning expert. So am looking forward to that, and seeing if she has more than one, as I'm suspecting she does.

Ah yes, while there has been very much laughing out (very) loud from me at different points, I enjoyed
You... aren’t very good at just enjoying stuff, are you?for not only its comedic value, but also underlining the difference between Sakura and Rokudaime ( ... )

Re: DLRM comment - 2 of 2 subtle_shades July 18 2011, 15:47:23 UTC

I love the Red Ribbon of Friendship from the series so it was only a matter of time before it popped into this fic.

I'm glad that you liked that line!

I'd comment on Kakashi's ghosts (and the thoughts/wishes/emotions attached to them) but your theories are fun. Also I have no idea how I'd comment without blabbing so I'll just say that they're very interesting. Veeerrryy in-ter-est-ing!

Thanks so much for the lovely review! It was a delight to read!