i want to be the person that i know.
and not this tired mess of someone i don't like very much.

“When the death of a disabled infant will lead to the birth of another infant with better prospects of a happy life, the total amount of happiness will be greater if the disabled infant is killed. The loss of the happy life for the first infant is outweighed by the gain of a happier life for the second. Therefore, if the killing of the hemophiliac ( Read more... )

thank you God, and sharon, for the jungle seat. it gives me at least 20 minutes of non-baby time a few times per day. i mean, that light-up waterfall even catches my eye, she must find it completely fascinating ( Read more... )

i'm sitting here, listening to classical music on the XM radio on our tv. ellie's asleep on my shoulder. yes, i am multi talented, typing and holding sleeping baby all at once ( Read more... )

so i started exercising. ok walking. meh. walking's alright. i'd rather swim ( Read more... )

i should be cleaning but i don't feel like it ( Read more... )

i don't understand why its so hard for me to not eat crap food... i wish i was serious about weight watchers like i once was. i need serious accountability with it. and why is it so hard for me to go walking?! its not hard. but no i'd rather just sit around when i have a free second cause i am so flipping tired ( Read more... )

how early is too early for me to have someone babysit ellie? i want to have someone babysit for a night but she just gets so cranked out at night... i would feel bad making someone deal with cranky ellie. its not fun. i dont know. i definitely need someone on july 12... because i am seeing copeland with jala. i have tickets and everything and i ( Read more... )

the song i am listening to has nothing to do with babies. i'm not even sure what it has to do with ( Read more... )

ellie's finally napping... although it probably won't last much longer. i am glad she is up during the day... its just so hard trying to figure out what someone who cannot speak needs ( Read more... )