ive been toying with the idea of dropping all my friends and starting fresh. i feel like such a bother, like they would be better off without me. a lot of the time my compliants or questions are reasonable but i just feel like i need to let go of everything. maybe i have too much free time to think... i dunno.

im different than anyone else ive ever met. i think that scares me and that im afraid everyone else thinks im just trying to be different but in reality am just like everyone else. i havent figured out what makes me different, maybe its just my perspective but i want that to shine thru. i want people to see my individuality and like me for that. ( Read more... )

i sat in a room in the back of the line awaiting to inhale their thrills thru their twenty dollar bills. whiskey in a coffee cup. cigarette in hand. what have i become? what am i doing here? a glass rose? what about smoking crack? learning about the things ill never do... im just having fun. im being social. hey im not nervous. ive made a break ( Read more... )

i had a dream of man so brilliant and beautiful. i layed on my side on his right side and confessed my love for him like ive done so many times before. he kissed my head, sweet but more like a thank you than anything. i watch a girl i felt i knew even though we never met. i watched her lay herself in front of him and the words i had formed only ( Read more... )

ive discovered i need only a certain amount of affection. he gives me enough without me having to get too involved. the way his hand slightly shakes as he starts to explore the geography of my body. never going too far yet still apologizing, afraid he is making me uncomfortable... while in reality i just want to sleep. i kept having these prophetic ( Read more... )

i needed somewhat of a fresh start. this journal unlike the ones is the past is not and will not be a documentary of depression but one of self realization. i discovered that as much as i know about myself i dont know who i am or what i want to become. i have ideas but ive been to busy trapped under the past to step out from under it and see what ( Read more... )

if seventeen seconds could hold up to you
how long do you think you last this way
and i know that you