Comments | suffolkgirl: BSG fic - Lost and Found 7 / 15

suffolkgirl

BSG fic - Lost and Found 7 / 15

Jan 14, 2007 11:00

Chapter 7

“What the hell did they do to him?” Kara said fiercely, eyes burning. “He didn’t even recognise me!”

“At least you got him to speak,” said Cottle, glancing through his papers. “That’s more than I’ve been able to manage.”

“Yes, to ask his own name!” Kara shot back. “That’s very encouraging.” She folded her arms across her chest ( Read more... )

bsg fic - lost and found

Comments 16

ammonite7 January 15 2007, 18:37:20 UTC

Love it this time, too. Some things I've learned that I'll pass on because you are so good you want to be even better, right ( ... )

suffolkgirl January 15 2007, 20:56:32 UTC

Thanks for the comments, they're very useful. It's the kind of thing I don't see because I've been staring at it for too long. I should probably get a beta reader. :)

I'd love to try and get something original published - I just need to finish something first. :) Need to really work on that this year, real life permitting.

ammonite7 January 15 2007, 21:46:30 UTC

Beta readers don't always know these things, generally they are grammar only people, or may catch something that is not clear. I've learned by reading lots of writing books and every issue of "Writer" magazine. I try to pass on what I have learned.

Edit, then put down your work and don't look at it for a while, at least a week, longer if possible. A novel should not be looked at for months and months. I started mine a year ago, took that long to finish, and that includes many edits per chapter. Recently (nearly typed "just" oooh) started reading and re-editing it, and it's a year later. Do I see things I didn't see before!

Another trick is to read it out loud, preferably to someone else, but even to yourself helps.

mlsky June 5 2007, 21:28:34 UTC

Oh...I'm in love with this fic. And what they did to Lee is awful and painful but how much do I love that he didn't tell them anything for their trouble...even if he's broken right now.

This I LOVED:

“And then - and then he bit his lip,” said Adama, his voice unnaturally calm. “Until it bled.”

Kara looked involuntarily at Lee’s mouth. Sure enough, she could see a trace of dried blood around his lips.

“And then he spoke,” Adama went on. “He looked straight at me and said ‘You’re not a dream. I can taste the blood.’ And then - then he passed out again.”

I could totally visualize that whole part while reading...and it was heartbreaking.

Excellent!