he has all his dice in a fricking row, to be awesome.

and then.
he rolls them.

i waited four years as it is. i don't know if i can wait another four.

i hate being in love.

or, rather .. loving another human being.
point-blank, end of sentence. end of conversation.

HATE.
hate.

second chance?

my naivete never, EVER ceases to fricking amaze me.
christ.

insanity is often described as a person performing the same actions, over and over .. yet expecting a different outcome, each time ( Read more... )

i'm not going to "never again."

i love[d] him.
but, fuck it.
i'm not writing everything ever forever in the future off.
that's dumb.

i won't resign myself to a resolution of "never again."

i'll just be far more prudent and proceed in a tremendously more judicious manner, next time.
....and, check my skull .. ten times over, to make sure that there IS a brain in there.

my brain is going to fucking. explode.

...implode?

probably both.
at the same. fucking. time.

it's been over a month since that last post ( Read more... )

i don't know if i can even discern the worth of ANYTHING.
the pain is fucking ridiculous.
but, so was the pleasure.

pleasure that i actually, for once .. let myself indulge in.
equal and opposite, with interest .. this is.

i can't believe, after three-ish years of saving myself from this .. here i am, again.
do i have to 'never again,' again?

every. fucking. time ( Read more... )