"I have underwear that's older than you!"

My pirate name is:

Bloody Sam Kidd


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Should I be concerned when I wake up covered in cat hair in a house I've never been in before?

People John and I ripped on: 19382 ( Read more... )

I've come to the conclusion that one of the funniest things you'll ever see in life is a drunk small guy jumping on top of a drunk fat girl on her hands and knees while pointing at her and yelling "WHAAAAAT? WHAAAAAT?" in a high pitched voice.

Layer Cake < Snatch
Star Wars Episode III > Star Wars Episodes I and II

Tonight were greek meetings for all fraternities and sororities at UM-D, and I wanted to give my girlfriend a nice surprise for Valentine's Day. So, I came up with the grand idea of bringing her flowers during her meeting. The only problem with this is, number one, I'm shy, especially around girls, and number 2, there would be about 30 girls ( Read more... )

Come to think of it, I've never seen a good looking homeless guy.....

Can you rub the black off black people? I mean, look at their hands..... I think you could at least make them look Puerto Rican. This could get me a Nobel Prize....

1. I'm halfway drunk right now ( Read more... )