Sometimes I think that I just can't be happy. It's like I'm uncomfortable being happy and that everytime I got something good going for myself, I can't do anything but point out all the flaws and turn myself miserable. I don't understand it. Maybe it's just a lack of sleep all the sudden. I don't know. I just don't understand why I do this to ( Read more... )

 I'm pretty sure that I completely blew it. I got emotional last night.
 I told him that I love him. 
And he doesn't love me back.

I completely expected it... but that doesn't make me feel any better.     I should have kept my mouth shut. I knew that he wasn't ready to hear it... but I had to tell him. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

Now I feel ( Read more... )

Christmas this year just didn't feel like christmas. There were presents and family and even snow... but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. But I guess I did pretty good on people's presents and on my haul as well. I gotta new digital camera which is really sweet.

Had christmas eve dinner at my aunt Willy's house... that was the most awkward ( Read more... )

Sometimes I don't really know what to think. It's really strange to feel happy sometimes. I mean, who doesn't want to be happy? But's it's just kinda weird that I'm almost more comfortable when I'm unhappy with my life than when I am happy. I don't know. I think the reason I feel so much more comfortable when I'm unhappy is that I don't really know ( Read more... )

This week was pretty sweet. Went down to Fort Lewis on tuesday night. On the way home wednesday afternoon, I picked up Chance to bring up to Rachel's and save them some gas money since I was already down there. So Chance and I somehow got into a video games conversation and decided that we had to play Guitar Hero 3 since I hadn't played it yet. ( Read more... )

I really don't understand all of this. I talked to Kris and all the gossiping parties. He didnt really cheat on me. I over reacted, as usual.

But now I'm more confused that ever. He's telling me that he's basically is not happy with his life, other than what time he spends with me. That he needs time to figure out his life and whatnot. So that we' ( Read more... )

 How did i let him do this to me? More importantly... how was i so stupid that i didnt know it was happening? Whats worse is that i had to hear it all from his best friend. WTF is that? Sure, Travis assures me that nothing has happened between them.... but its not the fact that he supposedly hasnt slept with her.... its that hes already taken that ( Read more... )

I'm tired. I'm bored. I have nothing to do.
It's week three with no job. Funds are running low. Plus I went to PIMA medical institute on friday about going to school for radiology tech. Basically they said I can't get in. Really puts a damper on my desire to go to school. Plus it adds to the annoyance of people telling me, "well, if you go to school ( Read more... )

 Is it strange that things are working out for me? I feel like its weird. Well... except the whole job thing. I kinda got fired from the Salon... but I guess I was looking to quit anyways.
I think I'm just not so used to things working out for me. It's... almost scary. But it feels soo good at the same time. I'm so happy right now. It's amazing.

I ( Read more... )

This past week has been amazing. Last saturday everyone came over. It was great seeing everyone... and if not for that night, Kris wouldn't be here. I still can't exactly figure out how this all happened. It had been at least six months since I had seen him last, when Kyle was "taking care" of Kristi's house back in February... So i guess that's ( Read more... )