it feels like no matter how hard i try, no amount of volunteering, or showing up when i can locally or abroad, will ever give me admittance to the club.

i feel bummed. i feel like i am without community. i feel like the kid sitting on the sidelines cuz i didn't get picked. and i am an adult. sucks.

I cannot wait for this weekend to begin so I can muck about in my yard and enjoy nature ( Read more... )

i don't post anymore. but i might at some point. at any rate, i want each of you to know that reading your posts makes me happy, makes me laugh, makes me think, makes me cry, makes me nod my head in agreement, enlightens me, challenges me, makes me smile.

thank you. big love.

sometimes there are no surprises.  your assessment of a situation is bang on, whether you want it to be or not.  (shrug ( Read more... )

It was good to be naked in the sun with nice people.  The weather was stellar, the water was cold, the vendors were out in full force, so were the cops.  Got a good base tan to build on.

Listening to Janis.  Thanks Iisz.

I forgot to mention during the weekend of Mayhem Sunday was mom's day.  My girls had gone to spend the day with their dad, bro's and step-mom.  I took a break from Mayhem and stopped in at home.  As soon as I walked in the door, there was a note posted from the kids saying "Happy Mother's Day".  I walked into the kitchen; another note.  The ( Read more... )

i am excited for Mayhem.  very excited.  plans are a-foot for Saturday night and the best part is, I don't know all that is planned.  I am happy and scared.  I might wet my pants.  But in a totally good way.

i am learning, listening, loving more.  lately i am sleeping less (pout).  i have plans but my actions are a little haphazard.  i am thoughtful on fixing that.

I don't post much lately but I do catch up on my reading maybe once a week so I may be a little late and more than a dollar short, but I still like to know what everyone is up to ( Read more... )

and with my lips curled a little downward i can say the last couple of months have been quite difficult.  they have also been magical and at times i have wanted to share things but savored them for myself instead.

i am:

• laughing alot
• crying too
• doing poly
• catching up with some people
• missing others