So, I had a girlfriend for a couple of weeks. I could see that she was growing attached, and I wasn't. I called it off. She cried, and I watched her with a puzzled stare. I felt like a robot, just wondering why she was crying after knowing me for 2 weeks. I didn't want to hurt her ( Read more... )

There is a nice little stain
on my shorts.
But,
it's not
the bleach
that I'm
speaking of.

Oh, and
Casey Jones Don't Do Shit,
but hang a baby on his bass.
And the baby can see about as well as the lead guitarist.

HA. Everything's going great right. All of the sudden, Mark gets laid off.

BUZZKILL

I'm still happy, just broke as shit.

So I'm making out with this girl last night, another girl walks in on us, then we're talking about music. Dude, she's been to a skynyrd concert. Not the original line-up, of course.

Seriously though. What have I said about a girl listening to Skynyrd?

Good fucking Merry Ass Christmas

I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees ( Read more... )

Well they call me William The Pleaser ( Read more... )

Apparently I am nothing more than a catalyst. I spend time with people and influence force them to do terrible things that they would NEVER do without my presence.

At least two people have recently let me know in some way that I possess a level of peer pressure that's equal to 
HOLDING A SHOTGUN TO ONE'S HEAD.

Please forgive me for ever doing things ( Read more... )

I have done so many things, seen so many things. I haven't lived one goddamn day of my life. Neither have you ( Read more... )

Confession ( Read more... )

I am above men ( Read more... )