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November
I should write briefly about Hurricane Sandy. The house I live in lost power for three days, but that's about all that happened here. There's a university walking distance from me, and they generate their own power, so I had hot food and hot showers and a place to charge my phone. The hot food and happy people were by far the most appreciated ( Read more... ) -
Therapy 4/23
I spent the weekend not studying for an exam. I dragged myself to the exam and got maybe a 65-70. I had an A in the class so far ( Read more... ) -
pro-feminist?
For some time now, I've ceased identifying as any sort of feminist. Laziness has much to do with this, as I benefit from male privilege rather often. Even when I don't, it is my habit to behave in ways that reinforce male privilege. That said, I'm not exactly a huge promoter of all things masculine and mainstream, and I really think very little of ( Read more... ) -
Straight people deserve love too (after the rainbow flood)
I wrote this about 2 years ago, in a state of bitterness against both homophobia and the mainstream liberal attitude of trying to say "queers are just like us, they want to get married, have upper middle-class jobs, and 2.1 kids". I probably had recently come out to my dad as bisexual, and we weren't really talking at the time (we are now, albeit ( Read more... ) -
i don't like being a texture without a hue
A lot of my social history has been about being on the outside of groups and wanting to fit in. This includes the most primary group of all: I'm an only child who was culturally, emotionally, and eventually physically alienated from my parents. So while I never expect to be allowed to fit in, and don't really even feel comfortable fitting in, it's ( Read more... ) -
queer authenticity
i haven't livejournaled in a looong time, so i'm just going to free-associate thoughts.
I was at the drag march yesterday. I wasn't even remotely in drag proper, and it brings up the question of how exactly does a habitual cross-dresser do drag? Drag exagerates/lampoons/critiques/plays-with signifiers of binary gender by loudly calling attention to ( Read more... ) -
Tears of Compassion
I mostly lost the ability to cry in the 90's (side-effect of Prozac, or just coincidence I don't know), but in the last couple of months I've shed a lot of tears while sitting in meditation. I get really opened up, and eventually I start feeling deep loving compassion for myself. That makes tears. Or I have a momentary glimpse of how much *everyone ( Read more... ) -
muffled murmers of isolation though gender-closet doors
I just had two guys declare to me that they like to wrestle because they enjoy "boy contact" or "male bonding". One of them booked a wrestling session with me (which incidentally earned me the first $100 bill I've ever owned), and the other is a potential client who's been corresponding by email ( Read more... ) -
Hurt in the name of love (present)
So given the psychosexual bullshit that I previously posted about, why the fuck am I still expected to give a shit about what my parents have to say about my sexuality? I came out to my dad about being bi about a year ago, and he's completely scared by that. What bothers me is how much emotional turbulence his lack of acceptance causes me. I've ( Read more... )
