Sometimes the silence of my apartment is so consuming that I turn on netflix just to break the monotony. I didn't feel like this at home. I loved the quietness and peacefulness of being alone in my room. Relaxing. Winding down. And I realize now that the peacefulness came from the fact that my comfort zone was still around me keeping me safe. Just ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. I'm 25 years old. I live at home with my mom. I'm working on undergraduate science classes. I live off of student loans. Seriously...what the fuck am I doing with my life ( Read more... )

Every so often, Kenny will stop mid-conversation and out of nowhere, say "You're so beautiful" in the most surprising way. Not surprising because he wasn't expecting it, but almost as if I moved ever-so-slightly into the right light where he was somehow memerized in that instant. It always takes me a second to process-- half because I never know ( Read more... )

Kenny asked me to be his girl 8 days ago. I said yes :)

To be honest, I'm still a little scared. Mostly at the notion of him possibly waking up one day and realizing that he's bored and wants to move on. Hmmm wonder where that came from.

But so far, I couldn't be happier.

Someone please chuck a glass of ice water in my face.

Now.

And all it once
It hits me like a ton of bricks
And I can't breathe
Because I know you are never coming back

A little over ten years ago--long before I had a live journal-- my mom picked me up from Recital dress rehearsal to meet my sister at the mall. I had read in the paper that there was going to be a pet expo that day, so I was really eager to check it out. As we came upon it I saw people crowding around mini plastic picket fences filled with dogs and ( Read more... )

 I feel the strongest urge to punch you square in the jaw and knock that smirk right off your smug face. You're lucky you're in Tallahassee and you're 6'2".

 Tomorrow would have been two years together.
And you know the funny thing?
I would have felt the same way I do right now if we were still together.

It only goes up from here.

 He said he's finally gonna leave me alone. Hopefully this lasts this time. I've got things to look forward to like Israel, and working and my portfolio. I don't need anything holding me back.

He said "I can see myself asking you out of the blue one day "pack up and come live with me in Europe. My treat. After college."

REALLY?