You care. I'm sorry. But if you were smart enough you'd realize I do too. And that it's alright. I know what's easier. I know how to cope. I know how to push people away. I know how to pretend. I know you better than yourself. Maybe that's what I never stop believing. As much as I want to. As much as you don't want to ( Read more... )

So many thoughts. So many reasons. What happens when 1 + 2 doesn't = 3?? I keep coming to the same conclusion.. even though I know it's not correct. I've got to be missing something...

"..if you want to really know people, you have to love them. To love them, you have to forgive their faults. If you forgive folks enough, you'll belong to them, ( Read more... )

Lies. I heart them. And the worst? I can never tell.. because I've been the best you'll ever find. And you threw it all away. I hope life treats you well because I plan on making it. More than you ever will. I put too much into you. And now? You only push me harder. To fail. To succeed. To hurt. To love. To make you realize what you've ever been ( Read more... )

So I find myself falling back into the things I once knew and loved. sigh. I'm way off this time. I need to keep going. Find something to occupy my time. Something to make me happy. The times when I'm most happy are when I'm running.. or playing volleyball.. or at the gym. There's alot I don't understand and really wish I did. Maybe it doesn't make ( Read more... )

Have I ever told you how much I hate you? How much I really truly hate you?

Because I do.

I'm so confused. I think my world's spinning out of control. And I just can't understand. Or maybe I just don't want to. Or maybe I do.. but am ignoring the fact that I can. I don't know who I am anymore or who I've turned into. I think I do but then I decide I don't. I'm not insecure but sometimes I feel like I should be. Like when I'm being used ( Read more... )

I'm being used. Am I being used? I feel like I'm being used. Okay, I know I'm being used. I think. Maybe I'm just not giving the benefit of the doubt. Will I get screwed over? I won't get screwed over. Friends aren't like that. And I am so being used. Gosshhh.

Remind me again of the nice girl I am. I think I'm slipping.

So I've discovered.

That I'm ridiculously attracted to badasses.

For Real!

And I can't help it. It's an insane infatuation.

Caps. Piercings. Tattoos.

DAMNIT!

And though you may tell me I deserve better..

that's so not what I want.

I'm so dumb.. I found this on some random site and loved it so much that I decided I would put it in my journal. Too bad it's original and there's no way I could ever put that into words.. but hey this girl did a pretty good job for me..

You know what i want? Just once i want to be someone's reason for waking up, someone's reason for going through ( Read more... )

Back from camp and almost fully back into the swing of things. This year there were no sad goodbyes, 32497435 emails to write, or new sn's to add. Just kinda left and jumped back into my life here. I don't even miss anyone. I mean sure I'd love to see my girls and am looking forward to all the times we say we'll get together and then somehow never ( Read more... )