Scott & Rachel’s Party Policies

[sunspiral]

Please read all of this. We welcome your questions and comments

Comments

[curly_chick]

Thank you for hosting these parties. They benefit all of us and we appreciate it.

[sunspiral]

You're very welcome. It's great to see you here.

[pywaket]

Especially the rapists and molesters thank you, since they're apparently a safe and welcoming place to find new victims.

[zombie_dog]

Hi Scott

[benndragon]

Thank you for saying this, I also felt uneasy about what was and was not said about this issue, but didn't know how to put that feeling into productive language.

[sunspiral]

See addendum above.

[zombie_dog]

oh -- I just realized that I misgendered rosefox! I can't edit the comment, so here's my apology for the slip-up -- sorry!

[ron_newman]

I do trust the hosts to do the right thing (as they already have). Thank you for continuing to hold these events. They look like a huge amount of work!

[tamidon]

Your house, your party, your rules. I do not think it unreasonable to ask hosts to deal with situations, and hosts to expect to be asked to deal with situations, before calling the police into someone's private home. Obviously if there is assault happening, or happened, call the cops, but realise that the hosts get to decide who is and is not welcome on their private party, and are the ones to make the call on who is asked to leave, as happened in the instance referred to.
I really question the idea that one cannot feel safe if you are asked to trust your hosts to deal in situations like this. I would assume that, after reading the stated expectations, if one did not feel safe one would not attend, as opposed to publicly calling said hosts out for not behaving properly.

[tamidon]

as has been pointed out to me , arriving with the cops was not threatened, just arriving with a restraining order. That to me implies the cops are right behind, but does not specify police. bottom line, their home, their party, their decisions who is there

[sunspiral]

Actually, arriving with the cops was directly threatened. That's what put this whole situation over the line.

[tamidon]

I was told by the person involved that they did not say anything about bringing the cops, but no matter what, I stand by my opinion that this was for you to deal with first.

[shadesong]

(Summation of the background here: I'm always at the party, my rapist (Judah Sher) knows that and attended anyway, disregarding the restraining order I have against him. I was *not* there, for only the second time in 7+ years, but nobody knew that I'd decided not to attend, as evidenced by the cavalcade of texts and Gchats I got. I was told by multiple people that my rapist, who uses these parties to find victims, would not be asked to leave unless I was there with my restraining order. I texted "On my way with the restraining order." That's when he was told to leave. No police threats were ever issued. The police do obviously have to be called if my rapist assaults me instead of leaving. But I did everything in my power to keep that from happening. Having the police there would probably mean additional broken bones for me, in addition to the emotional trauma. No one but Judah wants that

[rosefox]

I am very troubled by your constant use of the terms 'my rapist' and 'known rapist'. etc. I am not defending or denying his actions; I wasn't there. But to my knowledge, he has not been convicted of rape or even officially charged with it.

No no no no no. This is straight out of victim-blaming 101. You cannot both be upset with someone for being willing to invoke a restraining order, and undermine her credibility for not having pursued or acquired a rape conviction. If you support S and R in not wanting the police brought to their house, you cannot then turn around and chide someone for not using the legal system in a way that you find satisfactory.

Here is a helpful infographic explaining why "convicted of rape" is really not a useful standard of any kind.

Song actually has a restraining order against the man who assaulted her. That's impressive. Most rape survivors don't have anything approaching that level of system-sanctioned proof. Holding her to an even higher standard--and again, a standard that relies on the authority of

[sunspiral]

The issue is not that she has a restraining order, the issue is how she chose to use or misuse the restraining order, in a circumstance where she was not even present, and then try to misrepresent her actions after the fact.