Old News - Part Seven
Title: Old News
Author: Annie
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC17
Summary: The Media always love a scandal - sometimes, though, they don’t look at the tragedy behind the words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone. This is pure fiction and no reflection on the real people - whom I love too much to hurt!!
A/N: A bit darker than my normal stuff and not jolly or happy. It might disturb some - with mentions of attempted suicide etc. So if you might be upset by this - pass this story by!
Previous chapter
Present Day
Jensen opens his eyes, the lights so bright that he can barely lift the lids, the scent of antiseptic, bleach and new paint telling him just where he was. ”
His throat is so dry he can’t speak and his nose feels sore. He can feel the heavy sting of a needle in his hand; actually feel some sort of drug pumping through is veins. His vision is fuzzy and he rolls his head to one side, his eyes resting, immediately, on Jared.
Jared is hanging, half on, half off the plastic chair. His eyes are closed, his face as pale as milk. There are shadows under his eyelids, a week’s worth of stubble on his chin and his hair is greasy and unkempt.
Jensen opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He breathes in hard through his nose and this tiny noise seems to disturb Jared from his slumber and his eyes open, wide and shocked, staring at Jensen as if he has never seen him before.
Jared’s Adam ’s apple moves up, then down, and then, without warning, large tears begin to drip down his cheeks and he shudders, sobs shaking him so hard that he almost falls off the chair.
Jensen stares at him, unable to make a sound; he has never seen Jared cry like this before. Sure he has seen him fake emotion for Sam, seen him shed tears over Sandy, over their own relationship, but never like this. Jared is sobbing, harsh, desperate sobs, snot and water smearing down his face, his large hands rubbing his face over and over trying to wipe away the obvious sorrow.
Jensen reaches over with his good hand, grabbing Jared’s fingers and wrapping them tightly in his own. He cannot speak, cannot even make a sound, but he squeezes Jared’s hand, hard, trying to communicate what he cannot say ’I’m sorry, I love you, forgive me,’ are the words that Jensen is pressing into Jared’s hands and he can only hope that Jared gets it, that Jared will understand.
The nurse ushers Jared out, takes him for a coffee or a hot sweet tea, something for shock she says.
Jensen lies still and aching for a moment and then his momma enters. She stares down at him, biting her lip and then, to Jensen’s horror, she bursts into tears.
At that moment, Jensen realises what he has done, what he has brought upon those people who love him without question. He feels guilt that he cannot communicate and he lifts his hand to wipe away his momma’s tears, his own not so very far away.
Jensen had wanted to die, but now he wants to live and he was determined to get better, starting now.
***
The nurse brings him water, honey, and lemon for his throat. She gives him medication and pills and sits him up, injecting glucose into his IV and smoothing back his hair.
When she is satisfied he is feeling better, she pats his thigh and goes into the hall. When she returns, Jared is with her and Jensen hopes, with all his heart that Jared will not cry again.
“Hey.” Jensen’s voice is croaky and weak. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Jared sits down, wiping his hand across his face and shaking his head. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Jensen tries to smile, but his face feels tight, painful, “Jared - look…”
“The press are outside,” Jared says, randomly, rubbing his hand across his stubbled chin. “They have been keeping a round the clock vigil since you were brought in. They want to know every fucking thing; want me to make some sort of statement.”
“Will you?” Jensen can see something in Jared’s eyes, something new, something sad.
“If you had died, I was going to go out there and tell them that everything Danneel said was lies. I was going to tell them that you and I weren’t in a relationship, that Danneel was just bitter because of your break-up. I was going to tell them that there had never been anything other than friendship between us and that they should print a disclaimer.”
“Why? Why would you do that?” Jensen reaches out and takes Jared’s hand in his own again. The younger man stares at their entwined fingers and shudders.
“Cause that is what you wanted isn’t it? You didn’t want anyone to know about us, you were ashamed of us. Fuck Jensen, you would prefer to die than admit that you loved a man. What do you expect me to think?”
Jensen stared up at Jared; when had the gangly boy become a man? When had the light-hearted prankster become so old and burdened? What had he done? He had broken Jared and he felt like shit, suddenly realising that he had almost lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.
“I can go and make that statement now if you like.” Jared was still talking, his eyes burning, bright again with unshed tears. “I just want you here on this earth Jensen. I don’t care if you don’t love me, I just want you here.”
“Fuck Jared,” Jensen ground out, swallowing hard, his hand squeezing Jared’s, his own tears close to the surface.
“I don’t want you to go out and say anything, not without me there. I love you Jared and I’m so fucking sorry that any of this has happened. I’m not ashamed of you, I’m not. I love you and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you. As for the press, in the words of Sam Winchester, 'if we are going down, then we are going down together'.”
Next chapter
Author: Annie
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC17
Summary: The Media always love a scandal - sometimes, though, they don’t look at the tragedy behind the words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything or anyone. This is pure fiction and no reflection on the real people - whom I love too much to hurt!!
A/N: A bit darker than my normal stuff and not jolly or happy. It might disturb some - with mentions of attempted suicide etc. So if you might be upset by this - pass this story by!
Previous chapter
Present Day
Jensen opens his eyes, the lights so bright that he can barely lift the lids, the scent of antiseptic, bleach and new paint telling him just where he was. ”
His throat is so dry he can’t speak and his nose feels sore. He can feel the heavy sting of a needle in his hand; actually feel some sort of drug pumping through is veins. His vision is fuzzy and he rolls his head to one side, his eyes resting, immediately, on Jared.
Jared is hanging, half on, half off the plastic chair. His eyes are closed, his face as pale as milk. There are shadows under his eyelids, a week’s worth of stubble on his chin and his hair is greasy and unkempt.
Jensen opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He breathes in hard through his nose and this tiny noise seems to disturb Jared from his slumber and his eyes open, wide and shocked, staring at Jensen as if he has never seen him before.
Jared’s Adam ’s apple moves up, then down, and then, without warning, large tears begin to drip down his cheeks and he shudders, sobs shaking him so hard that he almost falls off the chair.
Jensen stares at him, unable to make a sound; he has never seen Jared cry like this before. Sure he has seen him fake emotion for Sam, seen him shed tears over Sandy, over their own relationship, but never like this. Jared is sobbing, harsh, desperate sobs, snot and water smearing down his face, his large hands rubbing his face over and over trying to wipe away the obvious sorrow.
Jensen reaches over with his good hand, grabbing Jared’s fingers and wrapping them tightly in his own. He cannot speak, cannot even make a sound, but he squeezes Jared’s hand, hard, trying to communicate what he cannot say ’I’m sorry, I love you, forgive me,’ are the words that Jensen is pressing into Jared’s hands and he can only hope that Jared gets it, that Jared will understand.
The nurse ushers Jared out, takes him for a coffee or a hot sweet tea, something for shock she says.
Jensen lies still and aching for a moment and then his momma enters. She stares down at him, biting her lip and then, to Jensen’s horror, she bursts into tears.
At that moment, Jensen realises what he has done, what he has brought upon those people who love him without question. He feels guilt that he cannot communicate and he lifts his hand to wipe away his momma’s tears, his own not so very far away.
Jensen had wanted to die, but now he wants to live and he was determined to get better, starting now.
***
The nurse brings him water, honey, and lemon for his throat. She gives him medication and pills and sits him up, injecting glucose into his IV and smoothing back his hair.
When she is satisfied he is feeling better, she pats his thigh and goes into the hall. When she returns, Jared is with her and Jensen hopes, with all his heart that Jared will not cry again.
“Hey.” Jensen’s voice is croaky and weak. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Jared sits down, wiping his hand across his face and shaking his head. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Jensen tries to smile, but his face feels tight, painful, “Jared - look…”
“The press are outside,” Jared says, randomly, rubbing his hand across his stubbled chin. “They have been keeping a round the clock vigil since you were brought in. They want to know every fucking thing; want me to make some sort of statement.”
“Will you?” Jensen can see something in Jared’s eyes, something new, something sad.
“If you had died, I was going to go out there and tell them that everything Danneel said was lies. I was going to tell them that you and I weren’t in a relationship, that Danneel was just bitter because of your break-up. I was going to tell them that there had never been anything other than friendship between us and that they should print a disclaimer.”
“Why? Why would you do that?” Jensen reaches out and takes Jared’s hand in his own again. The younger man stares at their entwined fingers and shudders.
“Cause that is what you wanted isn’t it? You didn’t want anyone to know about us, you were ashamed of us. Fuck Jensen, you would prefer to die than admit that you loved a man. What do you expect me to think?”
Jensen stared up at Jared; when had the gangly boy become a man? When had the light-hearted prankster become so old and burdened? What had he done? He had broken Jared and he felt like shit, suddenly realising that he had almost lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.
“I can go and make that statement now if you like.” Jared was still talking, his eyes burning, bright again with unshed tears. “I just want you here on this earth Jensen. I don’t care if you don’t love me, I just want you here.”
“Fuck Jared,” Jensen ground out, swallowing hard, his hand squeezing Jared’s, his own tears close to the surface.
“I don’t want you to go out and say anything, not without me there. I love you Jared and I’m so fucking sorry that any of this has happened. I’m not ashamed of you, I’m not. I love you and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you. As for the press, in the words of Sam Winchester, 'if we are going down, then we are going down together'.”
Next chapter