Mister Ramp

[superflow]

Mister Ramp's hair was a vile toxic orange. As were his large, unblinking eyes. As, indeed, was his penis, painted in a sticky antiseptic emulsion to defeat the various Shagging Diseases that remained rife in the Sexual Underworld

Comments

[sir_alf]

Mister Ramp, the Uberfucker.

Wow. Just wow. Anything else I say would either be even more terminally boring or a pale attempt to reproduce the beautifuly horrific feel of the piece above.

Wow. Holy fucking wow.

Peace.

I take back what I said about desecrating pork.

[beatcamel]

Since my girlfriend left me for another guy, just three days before our 2 year anniversary, I have been extremely turned off to the idea of sex, where it once turned me on and made me happy it has since disgusted me, knowing she preferred it with someone else then me, and it being more important to her than the love I thought we shared.
So I really enjoyed this piece if I'm understanding it right, so all of these glorious sexual conquests are meaningless because he will never have a girlfriend, and that means more than notches on a bullshit machismo scorecard?
I hope that someday I will be able to watch pornography without getting physically ill at the thought of her and this bearded asshole in a hardcore band who works at a whole foods co-opt market doing all the dirty things I miss terribly. This piece though has made me advance at least a few steps on the "road to recover[y](ing my self esteem)".
-louie

[superflow]

"this bearded asshole"

[stepinrazor]

Don't tease him, man. He'll cut you to ribbons. He's razorsharp, writes unpretty poetry. You don't have time to read it all, but you should make time because I'm totally falling for it:

he puts people down
and never shuts up
he treasures your friendship
less than his star wars cups
so when he's finally dead
and were all free
we can laugh and be merry
for no louie to see

"Chug it man we gotta run"
Gulp gulp it goes down and he says he can feel it coming back up and he goes outside and it comes out in the gutter
those little pieces that look like carrots are actually the lining of your stomache did you know that
noh-varr knows it

I have a smoking disease
I have a skin habit
I have a lot of questions

Cash or Trade
One Day Only
Bring Your Sad
Bring Your Lonely

Fuck. I'm still goddamn wide awake I got tricked into taking aderol after taking mescaline so these thoughts, while the trip is over, are still motivated by substance which makes them my responsibilty, the body did the typing the mind did the writing.

Don't be a

[hyalin]

I am thankful for Warren Ellis.

[zemo]

This is damn good reading while slowly becoming sober, but still being at the very least semidrunk.

We'll see how good it is in the morning with hangovers, probably better.

[porphyre]

bastard - I'm >in< L.A.