Without You is How I Disappear - Chapter 7
Title: Without You is How I Disappear
Authors: superhero0008, carboncastel, cascadingmerrygoround @ Tumblr
Pairing: Akame, MaruDa, RyoDa (plus others)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Smut
Disclaimer: We own no one in this fic except some minor OC. We own the plot.
Summary: World of Johnny’s Entertainment is burning with glitz and glamour. At the very top is Crimson Glory, the famous pop duo made up of the incredibly charismatic Kamenashi Kazuya and the enthralling Ueda Tatsuya. They are alike in that they follow where their hearts take them. Akanishi Jin is a solo artist who just recently debuted, slowly working his way to the top. Nishikido Ryo is an actor, and he goes for what he wants. Nakamaru Yuichi is the agency’s official photographer, and he’s happy with what he has. And Johnny Kitagawa. He doesn't make it easy for any of them. Well, except for his favorites, Shirota Yuu and Taguchi Junnosuke, and most especially, Kamenashi. What is true and what is false in this industry of illusions? What will they hold onto and what should they let go of?
A/N: Superhero0008 here! We are finally back after what could be concluded as a hiatus. As I’ve previously mentioned, carboncastel is now going to medschool while myself and cascadingmerrygoround have started on our respective jobs. A few weeks into our separate careers, though, I believe it’s safe to say we’ve somehow settled in and are ready to take on our fangirl roles again LOL. I’m taking this opportunity to announce, though, that for the next thirteen (13 - yes, thirteen) chapters more for this fic, we are going to update every other week. We have decided on this in order to accommodate updates for What’s Up with Akame, too, the Tumblr blog we run together as well. So there, we get Akame stuff every week but from two different points around the internets LOL.
But enough of the chitchat. We’re as eager as you are to get this story back on track, so here’s Chapter 7 for you! Looking forward to your comments! Enjoy! :D
Without You is How I Disappear
Chapter 7
Ryo buried his head into his pillow, trying in vain to shut out the disturbing noises from the adjacent room. He was only half-awake, but it hazily registered that he was actually hearing his friend Jin and his, well, colleague Kamenashi banging at 7:30 in the morning.
He turned to his side and saw the unfamiliar face of a person lying next to him. He couldn’t see that well because his eyes watered from the outrageous headache that his hangover brought, but somehow, it looked like -
“Ueda?” Ryo asked, his voice coming out hoarse and raspy.
But it was unmistakably a female voice that answered him.
“What?” asked the girl, and Ryo had a vague recollection of going up to a room with her the night before. “Who’s Ueda? Did you pretend I was someone else last night?” the redhead sat up now, raising an eyebrow at the actor. “You’ve sure got some serious issues.”
Ryo just turned to the other side, ignoring the girl whose name he can’t and didn’t bother to remember - if he even asked for her name last night at all.
“Oh my god,” the redhead whispered breathily, her sick excitement apparent. “Were you talking about super idol Ueda Tatsuya of Crimson Glory? Eww~”
At that, the actor sat up angrily and all but yelled, “Has anyone told you that you talk too much?”
“Has anyone told you that you shouldn’t have sick fantasies about your fellow celebrities?”
“GET OUT!”
The girl snickered, even as she obediently picked up her clothes and left the room. Ryo collapsed back on his pillow, agitatedly running his hands through his messy hair. Everything was seriously annoying him.
Ryo enjoyed a few moments of peaceful silence. He was just about to doze off when he heard more sounds from the next room. This time, because it was so quiet, he heard them so clearly Ryo wanted to puke. It sounded like a fucking porn film in there, what with all the moaning and -
Ryo swore loudly and threw his pillow irritatedly at the wall.
oOo
Kame couldn’t deny that he felt a nervous thrill go through him when he saw the caller ID on his phone displaying Johnny’s name. He could only think of one reason why the boss would be calling him that afternoon. It must be news about the search for his parents.
It was a little after 3’o clock, and they had all decided to go for a walk on a nice secluded part of the beach before they packed up their stuff to go home. Kame signaled to Jin to walk ahead with the others, and, putting his phone to his ear, the idol stopped to take the call. Jin looked at Kame curiously, but was dragged by Ryo and was forced to keep walking.
Just as Kame pressed the button to take the call, Johnny already spoke on the other line.
“Kamenashi.”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I’m calling to tell you about the lead I had spoken to you about - ” here the boss paused, and Kame clutched the phone more tightly, “ - I’m sorry, but I was just informed by the detectives that it was a dead end.”
Kame didn’t reply immediately. He didn’t know what he felt about that news. On one hand, he was disappointed that nothing new was discovered. On the other hand, he was also somehow relieved that he didn’t have to deal with the truth about his parents just yet.
”I’ll keep them searching, in any case,” said Johnny.
“Un,” replied Kame lamely, not knowing what else to say.
“They’ll find something sooner or later, Kamenashi,” Johnny supplied, sounding almost consoling.
“Yes, I suppose so. Thank you, Boss,” said Kame, sincerely feeling grateful to the president for making an effort to help him out.
Johnny hung up abruptly, but Kame was used to that kind of behavior from the old man. He didn’t waste much time on pleasantries. Kame sprinted a little to catch up with his companions. Jin smiled at him and touched his arm.
“What was that about?” asked Jin. “You looked kinda worried back there.”
”I’ll, uh, tell you about it some other time,” said Kame, smiling at Jin’s sincere concern for him.
Jin looked back a bit uncertainly at him before returning his smile. They walked for a while in silence, Jin and Kame together with Ryo in one row, and Nakamaru and Ueda walking a little ahead in front of them.
“So, Nishikido-san,” said Kame, politely trying to strike up a conversation. “Where is that nice girl you were with last night?”
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Ryo replied snappily. “It was a one-time thing, just having fun. And from what I heard, you two certainly had your fun.”
Jin punched his friend on the shoulder and let out a loud and somewhat nervous laugh, while Kame looked away, his cheeks rather burning.
“Ow!” said Ryo, hissing and rubbing his shoulder. “Anyway, the girl was surprisingly cool about last night. Not like those others who go, ‘let’s not have sex until we’re serious with each otheeeer~’” Ryo batted his eyelashes and mimicked a high-pitched and affected girly voice. “Those girls don’t know how to have fun.”
“Damn, I know what you mean!” said Jin who laughed again, and Kame looked at him, quite shocked by what he heard. After all, wasn’t that what Kame had done? Hold back until he was sure that he and Jin were both serious about their relationship?
“Not to mention those girls are usually the uglier ones,” said Ryo, laughing raucously. “We should just have fun, not take things too seriously. Only old people get ‘serious’ and that’s ‘cause they’re already desperate.”
At this, Ueda stunned everyone by stopping and turning on his heel to give Ryo a stern, reproachful glare, making the actor pause in his tracks.
“People get ‘serious’ and go into steady relationships because they want it to be meaningful,” said the boxer, his eyes narrowed.
Ryo smiled condescendingly, “But if you’re with one person for a long time, one day, you’ll just get tired of the same old thing.”
“No, not at all,” Nakamaru interrupted just as suddenly, putting an arm around Ueda shoulder’s.
The photographer raised his chin defiantly, as if daring the actor to say anything more.
Ryo’s face was all tense, and he looked like he wanted to punch someone, but he simply shrugged and said, “Well, if that’s your thing.”
Giving the actor a final glare, Ueda tugged on Nakamaru’s arm and started walking, steering the two of them back in the direction of the hotel.
“Kame, we’re going to go ahead,” said Ueda. “Let’s meet up at the lobby when it’s time to check out.”
The idol didn’t wait for his partner’s reply and just went on walking together with Nakamaru.
Kame didn’t appear to have heard anything and was quiet during the whole exchange, absently staring at the waves that came crashing to the shore. Jin noticed this strange mood and peered into his boyfriend’s face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, laying his palm affectionately on Kame’s cheek.
“It’s nothing,” said Kame, managing a faint smile.
Ryo snorted, effectively ruining the moment, “Well, I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Oy, Ryo!” Jin called after his friend, who was now quickly walking away.
But the actor appeared not to have heard him.
oOo
Ryo paced the corridor agitatedly. He didn’t quite understand why, but he was quite bothered by what had happened earlier. The way that Ueda looked at him - he couldn’t get the image out of his head. It was like he thought Ryo was the worst person on earth.
Well, fine, maybe Ryo was a bit of a jerk making fun of serious relationships like that, but he wasn’t referring to Ueda or that goddamned boyfriend of his… or was he? To be honest, Ryo wasn’t even sure. He always just said what he wanted to, and he wasn’t in the habit of censoring his thoughts. Ryo just had to say something because he was annoyed to see that photographer guy so smugly putting his arm around Ueda like he fucking owned him.
In any case, Ryo felt that he should go talk to Ueda and probably apologize or something. The actor didn’t want Ueda to go on thinking that Ryo was some depraved jerk who took advantage of women and randomly had sex with them. It wasn’t that Ryo didn’t respect steady relationships. He was probably just a bit more cynical about the whole thing.
And so, true to his usual straightforward and direct personality, the actor decided to go to Ueda’s hotel room, not even bothering to tell the idol in advance that he was going up there.
When he arrived at the correct floor and room number however, Ryo was surprised to see that the door was unlocked. Perhaps they had forgotten to lock it, or maybe they had already left the room. The door was slightly ajar, so Ryo just opened it a little wider and peered inside.
His view just slightly obscured by the plasma television, Ryo saw a figure on the bed. His back was to Ryo, but the actor was sure that it was definitely Ueda- completely naked, with only the bed sheet barely covering his lower body.
Ryo went pale as he realized that Ueda wasn’t alone on the bed.
“Should we be doing this?” said Nakamaru, who apparently was lying underneath Ueda.
Ueda propped himself up on his elbows and smiled wickedly at Nakamaru’s flushed face, “Well, we can’t really stop now, can we?”
And Ueda did something with his hips which caused Nakamaru to make an odd choked kind of sound. Ryo immediately looked away and was starting to feel sick. Oh fuck, was Ueda actually…? But Ryo had always assumed that it would be Nakamaru who would… since Ueda seemed more feminine - ?
“So, how do you want it?” Ueda asked in a low voice. “Do you like it slow, like when you take me?”
“Ugh, stop it… do you have to ask something like that?” whined Nakamaru in an embarrassed tone of voice.
Fuck! Ryo staggered away from the door, his mind whirling from the things he had heard and seen. He didn’t even want to think about the implications of what he’d witnessed. He blindly made his way down the corridor, away from Ueda’s hotel room.
oOo
Ueda smiled amusedly at his lover, and yet remained silent for a moment. He could almost swear he heard something behind him, but he couldn’t be sure.
“What is it?” Nakamaru asked, one of his hands circling around Ueda’s arm.
“I just thought… hmm, never mind,” said Ueda dismissively, “You said you wanted to stop?”
“I-I… well…” the photographer stuttered, color rising to his cheeks once again.
“It’s fine,” replied Ueda, pressing a kiss to Nakamaru’s lips and breaking into a mischievous grin, “I’ll just find someone else then.”
Nakamaru was not amused by Ueda’s teasing, however. “That’s not funny…” the older man said, his voice trailing off.
Ueda regretted his joke, seeing the hurt expression on the other’s face. He looked fondly into his lover’s dark almond-shaped eyes and said, “Now where would I find someone to replace you?”
Ueda bent down and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Nakamaru responded, and they began to kiss heatedly.
“Yuichi…” Ueda breathed, “Are you - can I… move?”
The photographer nodded, looking nervous but trusting.
“Just relax…” breathed Ueda, making a slow experimental movement with his hips.
Now, it was never really an issue between them who would top and who would be bottom. They just let the other be whatever he preferred, and more often Ueda would bottom, but Nakamaru was willing to switch all the same. Ueda was glad that they had an equal relationship in that aspect. He had had one or two bad experiences in the past with lovers who insisted on dominating him just because he looked ‘feminine’- he’d rebelled against them and fought fiercely with them because of that. He didn’t want to be treated like a girl, or like an idol or a celebrity. He wanted to be treated like, well, himself. He wanted to be acknowledged as the person that he was. And that was exactly what Nakamaru did.
They settled into a familiar comfortable pace, Ueda trying hard to concentrate and not go too fast even as Nakamaru’s heat around him threatened to make him go insane. Ueda wondered just how Nakamaru could be so slow and gentle when he was the one on top. The older man gasped when Ueda started to stroke him in time with his thrusts that were quickly becoming more and more erratic.
They didn’t last long and came within seconds of each other. Ueda gently lay down beside his lover as his breathing slowed and returned to normal. Nakamaru put his arms around him, holding him close.
“Hey, Yuichi…” Ueda whispered.
“Yes?” said Nakamaru in a sleepy and contented voice.
“… Wanna switch this time?”
Nakamaru took a pillow from beside him and hit a laughing Ueda on the head.
oOo
Ryo stumbled through the corridor and rounded a corner. Seeing that it was empty, he rested his back against the cool wall and closed his eyes as he felt a breeze from the end of the corridor pass through. He just stood there for a while, not moving, just trying to get his head back together.
He didn’t even know, much less understand, what he was feeling now. Inside his head was a storm of conflicting emotions - shock, jealousy, anger (Why was their goddamn door even open?!), and even to some degree lust.
The image of Ueda was burned into the actor’s mind. He saw again that svelte, sinuous back, muscles rippling at the slightest movement. He wondered what it would feel like to have his hands on that lean frame, on those slender hips, then dipping lower to -
What the fuck. So there it was: clear and indisputable proof that straighter-than-an-arrow Nishikido Ryo wanted Ueda Tatsuya. And, judging from the overwhelming jealousy he felt when saw Ueda together with that photographer boyfriend of his, Ryo concluded that he may even be in love with the idol.
The actor angrily but halfheartedly punched a spot on the wall before forcing himself to move and walk to the part of the hotel that would lead him to where his friend Jin’s room was. He stalked towards the end of the hallway and saw that the door was open. The actor just went inside the hotel room without hesitation.
Then suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. It was only then that it occurred to Ryo that he might just walk in on yet another ‘compromising’ situation.
“Ryo? What are you doing here?”
“Hey Jin,” said Ryo, quickly putting a hand over his eyes. “Are you, er, decent?”
“What do you think?” replied Jin sarcastically.
Ryo breathed a sigh of relief and put down his hand. He saw Kame standing right behind Jin, looking puzzled but thankfully wearing the appropriate clothing. Their luggage was already packed and lined up near the door.
“I’m coming with you in the car, right?” Ryo asked.
“Uhmm…” Jin looked uncomfortably from his boyfriend to his friend. “Would that be okay with you, Kazuya?”
Ryo felt a bit indignant with Jin’s question, wanting to point out that he had driven for Jin on the way here, but he just rolled his eyes when Kame shook his head and just said, “Fine. It’s not like we can just leave him here.”
A little later, Ryo regretted riding in the same car with the both of them. The actor had to sit in the back, because Jin and Kame were in the driver’s and passenger’s seat respectively. Throughout the whole trip, the couple was lost in their own world, chattering away the whole time, exchanging smiles and glances, totally engrossed with each other. It was, to tell the truth, rather confusing for Ryo. He couldn’t help but wonder if… if, well, it could be like this with Ueda if they ever got together.
Ryo sighed, and, closing his eyes, slumped in his seat. If it were true, if he were really in love with Ueda, then… what could he do about it? It gave him a headache just thinking about it. He didn’t want to deal with it.
So what was the best thing to do? Walk away. Yep, that’s the solution. Maybe these weird feelings would just disappear.
Deciding to take a nap, Ryo settled into a more comfortable position. It shouldn’t be that hard to avoid Ueda, right? It would be a relief, really. He wouldn’t have to see that quirky smile, that annoying smug, arrogant, beautiful face… and Ryo’s thoughts trailed off as he slowly fell asleep.
oOo
~end of Chapter 7~
Chapter 6
superhero0008’s fic list here!
carboncastel’s fic list here!
cascadingmerrygoround’s Tumblr here!
Authors: superhero0008, carboncastel, cascadingmerrygoround @ Tumblr
Pairing: Akame, MaruDa, RyoDa (plus others)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, Smut
Disclaimer: We own no one in this fic except some minor OC. We own the plot.
Summary: World of Johnny’s Entertainment is burning with glitz and glamour. At the very top is Crimson Glory, the famous pop duo made up of the incredibly charismatic Kamenashi Kazuya and the enthralling Ueda Tatsuya. They are alike in that they follow where their hearts take them. Akanishi Jin is a solo artist who just recently debuted, slowly working his way to the top. Nishikido Ryo is an actor, and he goes for what he wants. Nakamaru Yuichi is the agency’s official photographer, and he’s happy with what he has. And Johnny Kitagawa. He doesn't make it easy for any of them. Well, except for his favorites, Shirota Yuu and Taguchi Junnosuke, and most especially, Kamenashi. What is true and what is false in this industry of illusions? What will they hold onto and what should they let go of?
A/N: Superhero0008 here! We are finally back after what could be concluded as a hiatus. As I’ve previously mentioned, carboncastel is now going to medschool while myself and cascadingmerrygoround have started on our respective jobs. A few weeks into our separate careers, though, I believe it’s safe to say we’ve somehow settled in and are ready to take on our fangirl roles again LOL. I’m taking this opportunity to announce, though, that for the next thirteen (13 - yes, thirteen) chapters more for this fic, we are going to update every other week. We have decided on this in order to accommodate updates for What’s Up with Akame, too, the Tumblr blog we run together as well. So there, we get Akame stuff every week but from two different points around the internets LOL.
But enough of the chitchat. We’re as eager as you are to get this story back on track, so here’s Chapter 7 for you! Looking forward to your comments! Enjoy! :D
Without You is How I Disappear
Chapter 7
Ryo buried his head into his pillow, trying in vain to shut out the disturbing noises from the adjacent room. He was only half-awake, but it hazily registered that he was actually hearing his friend Jin and his, well, colleague Kamenashi banging at 7:30 in the morning.
He turned to his side and saw the unfamiliar face of a person lying next to him. He couldn’t see that well because his eyes watered from the outrageous headache that his hangover brought, but somehow, it looked like -
“Ueda?” Ryo asked, his voice coming out hoarse and raspy.
But it was unmistakably a female voice that answered him.
“What?” asked the girl, and Ryo had a vague recollection of going up to a room with her the night before. “Who’s Ueda? Did you pretend I was someone else last night?” the redhead sat up now, raising an eyebrow at the actor. “You’ve sure got some serious issues.”
Ryo just turned to the other side, ignoring the girl whose name he can’t and didn’t bother to remember - if he even asked for her name last night at all.
“Oh my god,” the redhead whispered breathily, her sick excitement apparent. “Were you talking about super idol Ueda Tatsuya of Crimson Glory? Eww~”
At that, the actor sat up angrily and all but yelled, “Has anyone told you that you talk too much?”
“Has anyone told you that you shouldn’t have sick fantasies about your fellow celebrities?”
“GET OUT!”
The girl snickered, even as she obediently picked up her clothes and left the room. Ryo collapsed back on his pillow, agitatedly running his hands through his messy hair. Everything was seriously annoying him.
Ryo enjoyed a few moments of peaceful silence. He was just about to doze off when he heard more sounds from the next room. This time, because it was so quiet, he heard them so clearly Ryo wanted to puke. It sounded like a fucking porn film in there, what with all the moaning and -
Ryo swore loudly and threw his pillow irritatedly at the wall.
oOo
Kame couldn’t deny that he felt a nervous thrill go through him when he saw the caller ID on his phone displaying Johnny’s name. He could only think of one reason why the boss would be calling him that afternoon. It must be news about the search for his parents.
It was a little after 3’o clock, and they had all decided to go for a walk on a nice secluded part of the beach before they packed up their stuff to go home. Kame signaled to Jin to walk ahead with the others, and, putting his phone to his ear, the idol stopped to take the call. Jin looked at Kame curiously, but was dragged by Ryo and was forced to keep walking.
Just as Kame pressed the button to take the call, Johnny already spoke on the other line.
“Kamenashi.”
“Yes, Sir?”
“I’m calling to tell you about the lead I had spoken to you about - ” here the boss paused, and Kame clutched the phone more tightly, “ - I’m sorry, but I was just informed by the detectives that it was a dead end.”
Kame didn’t reply immediately. He didn’t know what he felt about that news. On one hand, he was disappointed that nothing new was discovered. On the other hand, he was also somehow relieved that he didn’t have to deal with the truth about his parents just yet.
”I’ll keep them searching, in any case,” said Johnny.
“Un,” replied Kame lamely, not knowing what else to say.
“They’ll find something sooner or later, Kamenashi,” Johnny supplied, sounding almost consoling.
“Yes, I suppose so. Thank you, Boss,” said Kame, sincerely feeling grateful to the president for making an effort to help him out.
Johnny hung up abruptly, but Kame was used to that kind of behavior from the old man. He didn’t waste much time on pleasantries. Kame sprinted a little to catch up with his companions. Jin smiled at him and touched his arm.
“What was that about?” asked Jin. “You looked kinda worried back there.”
”I’ll, uh, tell you about it some other time,” said Kame, smiling at Jin’s sincere concern for him.
Jin looked back a bit uncertainly at him before returning his smile. They walked for a while in silence, Jin and Kame together with Ryo in one row, and Nakamaru and Ueda walking a little ahead in front of them.
“So, Nishikido-san,” said Kame, politely trying to strike up a conversation. “Where is that nice girl you were with last night?”
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Ryo replied snappily. “It was a one-time thing, just having fun. And from what I heard, you two certainly had your fun.”
Jin punched his friend on the shoulder and let out a loud and somewhat nervous laugh, while Kame looked away, his cheeks rather burning.
“Ow!” said Ryo, hissing and rubbing his shoulder. “Anyway, the girl was surprisingly cool about last night. Not like those others who go, ‘let’s not have sex until we’re serious with each otheeeer~’” Ryo batted his eyelashes and mimicked a high-pitched and affected girly voice. “Those girls don’t know how to have fun.”
“Damn, I know what you mean!” said Jin who laughed again, and Kame looked at him, quite shocked by what he heard. After all, wasn’t that what Kame had done? Hold back until he was sure that he and Jin were both serious about their relationship?
“Not to mention those girls are usually the uglier ones,” said Ryo, laughing raucously. “We should just have fun, not take things too seriously. Only old people get ‘serious’ and that’s ‘cause they’re already desperate.”
At this, Ueda stunned everyone by stopping and turning on his heel to give Ryo a stern, reproachful glare, making the actor pause in his tracks.
“People get ‘serious’ and go into steady relationships because they want it to be meaningful,” said the boxer, his eyes narrowed.
Ryo smiled condescendingly, “But if you’re with one person for a long time, one day, you’ll just get tired of the same old thing.”
“No, not at all,” Nakamaru interrupted just as suddenly, putting an arm around Ueda shoulder’s.
The photographer raised his chin defiantly, as if daring the actor to say anything more.
Ryo’s face was all tense, and he looked like he wanted to punch someone, but he simply shrugged and said, “Well, if that’s your thing.”
Giving the actor a final glare, Ueda tugged on Nakamaru’s arm and started walking, steering the two of them back in the direction of the hotel.
“Kame, we’re going to go ahead,” said Ueda. “Let’s meet up at the lobby when it’s time to check out.”
The idol didn’t wait for his partner’s reply and just went on walking together with Nakamaru.
Kame didn’t appear to have heard anything and was quiet during the whole exchange, absently staring at the waves that came crashing to the shore. Jin noticed this strange mood and peered into his boyfriend’s face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, laying his palm affectionately on Kame’s cheek.
“It’s nothing,” said Kame, managing a faint smile.
Ryo snorted, effectively ruining the moment, “Well, I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Oy, Ryo!” Jin called after his friend, who was now quickly walking away.
But the actor appeared not to have heard him.
oOo
Ryo paced the corridor agitatedly. He didn’t quite understand why, but he was quite bothered by what had happened earlier. The way that Ueda looked at him - he couldn’t get the image out of his head. It was like he thought Ryo was the worst person on earth.
Well, fine, maybe Ryo was a bit of a jerk making fun of serious relationships like that, but he wasn’t referring to Ueda or that goddamned boyfriend of his… or was he? To be honest, Ryo wasn’t even sure. He always just said what he wanted to, and he wasn’t in the habit of censoring his thoughts. Ryo just had to say something because he was annoyed to see that photographer guy so smugly putting his arm around Ueda like he fucking owned him.
In any case, Ryo felt that he should go talk to Ueda and probably apologize or something. The actor didn’t want Ueda to go on thinking that Ryo was some depraved jerk who took advantage of women and randomly had sex with them. It wasn’t that Ryo didn’t respect steady relationships. He was probably just a bit more cynical about the whole thing.
And so, true to his usual straightforward and direct personality, the actor decided to go to Ueda’s hotel room, not even bothering to tell the idol in advance that he was going up there.
When he arrived at the correct floor and room number however, Ryo was surprised to see that the door was unlocked. Perhaps they had forgotten to lock it, or maybe they had already left the room. The door was slightly ajar, so Ryo just opened it a little wider and peered inside.
His view just slightly obscured by the plasma television, Ryo saw a figure on the bed. His back was to Ryo, but the actor was sure that it was definitely Ueda- completely naked, with only the bed sheet barely covering his lower body.
Ryo went pale as he realized that Ueda wasn’t alone on the bed.
“Should we be doing this?” said Nakamaru, who apparently was lying underneath Ueda.
Ueda propped himself up on his elbows and smiled wickedly at Nakamaru’s flushed face, “Well, we can’t really stop now, can we?”
And Ueda did something with his hips which caused Nakamaru to make an odd choked kind of sound. Ryo immediately looked away and was starting to feel sick. Oh fuck, was Ueda actually…? But Ryo had always assumed that it would be Nakamaru who would… since Ueda seemed more feminine - ?
“So, how do you want it?” Ueda asked in a low voice. “Do you like it slow, like when you take me?”
“Ugh, stop it… do you have to ask something like that?” whined Nakamaru in an embarrassed tone of voice.
Fuck! Ryo staggered away from the door, his mind whirling from the things he had heard and seen. He didn’t even want to think about the implications of what he’d witnessed. He blindly made his way down the corridor, away from Ueda’s hotel room.
oOo
Ueda smiled amusedly at his lover, and yet remained silent for a moment. He could almost swear he heard something behind him, but he couldn’t be sure.
“What is it?” Nakamaru asked, one of his hands circling around Ueda’s arm.
“I just thought… hmm, never mind,” said Ueda dismissively, “You said you wanted to stop?”
“I-I… well…” the photographer stuttered, color rising to his cheeks once again.
“It’s fine,” replied Ueda, pressing a kiss to Nakamaru’s lips and breaking into a mischievous grin, “I’ll just find someone else then.”
Nakamaru was not amused by Ueda’s teasing, however. “That’s not funny…” the older man said, his voice trailing off.
Ueda regretted his joke, seeing the hurt expression on the other’s face. He looked fondly into his lover’s dark almond-shaped eyes and said, “Now where would I find someone to replace you?”
Ueda bent down and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Nakamaru responded, and they began to kiss heatedly.
“Yuichi…” Ueda breathed, “Are you - can I… move?”
The photographer nodded, looking nervous but trusting.
“Just relax…” breathed Ueda, making a slow experimental movement with his hips.
Now, it was never really an issue between them who would top and who would be bottom. They just let the other be whatever he preferred, and more often Ueda would bottom, but Nakamaru was willing to switch all the same. Ueda was glad that they had an equal relationship in that aspect. He had had one or two bad experiences in the past with lovers who insisted on dominating him just because he looked ‘feminine’- he’d rebelled against them and fought fiercely with them because of that. He didn’t want to be treated like a girl, or like an idol or a celebrity. He wanted to be treated like, well, himself. He wanted to be acknowledged as the person that he was. And that was exactly what Nakamaru did.
They settled into a familiar comfortable pace, Ueda trying hard to concentrate and not go too fast even as Nakamaru’s heat around him threatened to make him go insane. Ueda wondered just how Nakamaru could be so slow and gentle when he was the one on top. The older man gasped when Ueda started to stroke him in time with his thrusts that were quickly becoming more and more erratic.
They didn’t last long and came within seconds of each other. Ueda gently lay down beside his lover as his breathing slowed and returned to normal. Nakamaru put his arms around him, holding him close.
“Hey, Yuichi…” Ueda whispered.
“Yes?” said Nakamaru in a sleepy and contented voice.
“… Wanna switch this time?”
Nakamaru took a pillow from beside him and hit a laughing Ueda on the head.
oOo
Ryo stumbled through the corridor and rounded a corner. Seeing that it was empty, he rested his back against the cool wall and closed his eyes as he felt a breeze from the end of the corridor pass through. He just stood there for a while, not moving, just trying to get his head back together.
He didn’t even know, much less understand, what he was feeling now. Inside his head was a storm of conflicting emotions - shock, jealousy, anger (Why was their goddamn door even open?!), and even to some degree lust.
The image of Ueda was burned into the actor’s mind. He saw again that svelte, sinuous back, muscles rippling at the slightest movement. He wondered what it would feel like to have his hands on that lean frame, on those slender hips, then dipping lower to -
What the fuck. So there it was: clear and indisputable proof that straighter-than-an-arrow Nishikido Ryo wanted Ueda Tatsuya. And, judging from the overwhelming jealousy he felt when saw Ueda together with that photographer boyfriend of his, Ryo concluded that he may even be in love with the idol.
The actor angrily but halfheartedly punched a spot on the wall before forcing himself to move and walk to the part of the hotel that would lead him to where his friend Jin’s room was. He stalked towards the end of the hallway and saw that the door was open. The actor just went inside the hotel room without hesitation.
Then suddenly, he stopped in his tracks. It was only then that it occurred to Ryo that he might just walk in on yet another ‘compromising’ situation.
“Ryo? What are you doing here?”
“Hey Jin,” said Ryo, quickly putting a hand over his eyes. “Are you, er, decent?”
“What do you think?” replied Jin sarcastically.
Ryo breathed a sigh of relief and put down his hand. He saw Kame standing right behind Jin, looking puzzled but thankfully wearing the appropriate clothing. Their luggage was already packed and lined up near the door.
“I’m coming with you in the car, right?” Ryo asked.
“Uhmm…” Jin looked uncomfortably from his boyfriend to his friend. “Would that be okay with you, Kazuya?”
Ryo felt a bit indignant with Jin’s question, wanting to point out that he had driven for Jin on the way here, but he just rolled his eyes when Kame shook his head and just said, “Fine. It’s not like we can just leave him here.”
A little later, Ryo regretted riding in the same car with the both of them. The actor had to sit in the back, because Jin and Kame were in the driver’s and passenger’s seat respectively. Throughout the whole trip, the couple was lost in their own world, chattering away the whole time, exchanging smiles and glances, totally engrossed with each other. It was, to tell the truth, rather confusing for Ryo. He couldn’t help but wonder if… if, well, it could be like this with Ueda if they ever got together.
Ryo sighed, and, closing his eyes, slumped in his seat. If it were true, if he were really in love with Ueda, then… what could he do about it? It gave him a headache just thinking about it. He didn’t want to deal with it.
So what was the best thing to do? Walk away. Yep, that’s the solution. Maybe these weird feelings would just disappear.
Deciding to take a nap, Ryo settled into a more comfortable position. It shouldn’t be that hard to avoid Ueda, right? It would be a relief, really. He wouldn’t have to see that quirky smile, that annoying smug, arrogant, beautiful face… and Ryo’s thoughts trailed off as he slowly fell asleep.
oOo
~end of Chapter 7~
Chapter 6
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